Narcissistic Personality Disorder Tips

Narcissism, Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the Narcissist,

And Relationships with Abusive Narcissists and Psychopaths

By: Dr. Sam Vaknin

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Author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

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Malignant Self Love - Buy the Book - Click HERE!!!

Relationships with Abusive Narcissists - Buy the e-Books - Click HERE!!!

READ THIS: Scroll down to review a complete list of the articles - Click on the blue-coloured text!

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Verbal and Emotional Abuse - Articles Menu

Spousal (Domestic) Abuse and Violence - Articles Menu

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Tips about Coping with Abuse - HERE!

Q&A about Abusive Relationships - HERE!

To victims of abuse, my advice is unequivocal:

LEAVE NOW. Leave before the effects of abuse - including PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) - become entrenched. Leave before your children begin to pay the price as well.

But, if you insist on staying (always against the best interests of yourself and your nearest and dearest) - here is a survival manual: 

How to Avoid the Wrath of the Narcissist 

How to Make your Narcissist Dependent on You
If you INSIST on Staying with Him 


What are you getting from the relationship? Are you actually a masochist? A codependent perhaps? Why is this relationship attractive and interesting?
Define for yourself what good and beneficial things you believe you are receiving in this relationship.


Define the things that you find harmful TO YOU. Develop strategies to minimize the harm to yourself.  Don't expect that you will cognitively be able to reason with the narcissist to change who they are. You may have some limited success in getting your narcissist to tone down on the really harmful behaviours THAT AFFECT YOU which emanate from the unchangeable WHAT the narcissist is. This can only be accomplished in a very trusting, frank and open relationship.


Abuse Victim's New Year Resolutions


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New Year resolutions are notoriously fragile and ephemeral. But victims of abuse cannot afford this cavalier attitude: their mental - and too often physical - health depends on strictly observing the following promises to themselves:


1.     I will treat myself with dignity and demand respect from others. I will not allow anyone to disrespect me.


2.     I will set clear boundaries and make known to others what I regard as permissible and acceptable behavior and what is out of bounds.


3.     I will not tolerate abuse and aggression in any form or guise. I will seek to terminate such misconduct instantly and unequivocally.


4.     I will be assertive and unambiguous about my needs, wishes, and expectations from others. I will not be arrogant - but I will be confident. I will not be selfish and narcissistic - but I will love and care for myself.


5.     I will get to know myself better.


6.     I will treat others as I want them to treat me. I will try to lead by way of self-example.


7.     If I am habitually disrespected, abused, or if my boundaries are ignored and breached I will terminate the relationship with the abuser forthwith. Zero tolerance and no second chance will be my maxims of self-preservation.


Discussions regarding narcissism and abuse in relationships HERE:


Also Read

The Inverted Narcissist

The Mate / Spouse / Partner of the Narcissist

Cope with Your Abuser

Coping with Various Types of Stalkers

Divorcing the Narcissist and the Psychopath

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