Narcissistic Personality Disorder Tips

Narcissism, Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the Narcissist,

And Relationships with Abusive Narcissists and Psychopaths

By: Dr. Sam Vaknin

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Author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

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Verbal and Emotional Abuse - Articles Menu

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Tips about Coping with Abuse - HERE!

Q&A about Abusive Relationships - HERE!


To victims of abuse, my advice is unequivocal:

LEAVE NOW. Leave before the effects of abuse - including PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) - become entrenched. Leave before your children begin to pay the price as well.

But, if you insist on staying (always against the best interests of yourself and your nearest and dearest) - here is a survival manual: 

FIVE DON'T DO'S
How to Avoid the Wrath of the Narcissist 

 The TEN DO'S
How to Make your Narcissist Dependent on You
If you INSIST on Staying with Him 

 

What are you getting from the relationship? Are you actually a masochist? A codependent perhaps? Why is this relationship attractive and interesting?
Define for yourself what good and beneficial things you believe you are receiving in this relationship.

 

Define the things that you find harmful TO YOU. Develop strategies to minimize the harm to yourself.  Don't expect that you will cognitively be able to reason with the narcissist to change who they are. You may have some limited success in getting your narcissist to tone down on the really harmful behaviours THAT AFFECT YOU which emanate from the unchangeable WHAT the narcissist is. This can only be accomplished in a very trusting, frank and open relationship.

 

Abuse Victim's New Year Resolutions

 

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New Year resolutions are notoriously fragile and ephemeral. But victims of abuse cannot afford this cavalier attitude: their mental - and too often physical - health depends on strictly observing the following promises to themselves:

 

1.     I will treat myself with dignity and demand respect from others. I will not allow anyone to disrespect me.

 

2.     I will set clear boundaries and make known to others what I regard as permissible and acceptable behavior and what is out of bounds.

 

3.     I will not tolerate abuse and aggression in any form or guise. I will seek to terminate such misconduct instantly and unequivocally.

 

4.     I will be assertive and unambiguous about my needs, wishes, and expectations from others. I will not be arrogant - but I will be confident. I will not be selfish and narcissistic - but I will love and care for myself.

 

5.     I will get to know myself better.

 

6.     I will treat others as I want them to treat me. I will try to lead by way of self-example.

 

7.     If I am habitually disrespected, abused, or if my boundaries are ignored and breached I will terminate the relationship with the abuser forthwith. Zero tolerance and no second chance will be my maxims of self-preservation.

 


Discussions regarding narcissism and abuse in relationships HERE:

https://plus.google.com/communities/116582645889927140499

http://groups.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse/

http://groups.google.com/group/NARCISSISTIC-PERSONALITY-DISORDER

http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery

 

http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org/

 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/toxicrelationships/

 


Also Read

The Inverted Narcissist

The Mate / Spouse / Partner of the Narcissist

Cope with Your Abuser

Coping with Various Types of Stalkers

Divorcing the Narcissist and the Psychopath


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Narcissism at a Glance

Narcissistic Personality Disorder at a Glance

Frequently Asked Questions about Narcissists and Narcissism

Frequently Asked Questions about Personality Disorders

Excerpts from the Archive of the Narcissism List

The Narcissism List Home Page

Philosophical Musings

World in Conflict and Transition

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