Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited

Discussion and Reading Group Guide

Narcissism, Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the Narcissist,

And Relationships with Abusive Narcissists and Psychopaths

By: Dr. Sam Vaknin

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Questions to Ponder


Q> Is pathological narcissism related to healthy narcissism? Are they part of the same spectrum and only a matter of degree or intensity?

Q> Do narcissists love themselves? Are they capable of loving anyone at all?

Q> Why do narcissists abuse the very people from whom they derive sustenance in the form of Narcissistic Supply?

Q> Can the Narcissistic Personality Disorder be easily distinguished from other mental health disorders (for instance, Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, or the Histrionic and Borderline Personality Disorders)?

Q> Can narcissism be cured and, if yes, would psychotherapy be best - or would medication?

Q> Why do narcissists idealize and then devalue their sources of supply?

Q> Can pathological narcissism be compared to addictions?

Q> Is society geared to dealing with narcissists and the destructive effect they have on their nearest and dearest?

Q> Narcissists wreak havoc through subtle and not so subtle means. Why and in which circumstances do they resort to subtlety?

Q> Can a narcissist be self-aware and still remain a narcissist?

Q> How can one shield one's children from "narcissistic radiation" or "narcissistic fallout"?

Q> How to recognize a narcissist before it is too late?

(continued below)


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Q> How should one respond to narcissistic rage, narcissistic injury and narcissistic grandiose fantasies?

Q> How does one divorce a narcissist and cope with vindictive narcissists?

Q> Narcissists get "into your head". How does one get rid of their lasting influence, of the "internal voice" the narcissist bequeaths to his victims?

Q> Why do narcissists hate happiness and emotions? Is it because they are jealous? And what are the roles of envy, shame and control in narcissism?

Q> There are a myriad forms of abuse - from the ambient through the subtle to the overt. Can you give examples of each type?

Q> Is narcissism reversible? Can it be cured? Contained? Restrained? Is there such thing as transient narcissism or a mere passing narcissistic reaction?

Q> What is the difference between Inverted ("covert") Narcissism and Co-dependence?

Q> Should I stay with him?


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