I miss him so much - I want him back!
So, you go back to your "relationship" and hope
for a better ending. You walk on eggshells. You become the epitome of
submissiveness, a perfect Source of Narcissistic Supply, the ideal mate or
spouse or partner or colleague. You keep your fingers crossed.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/journal78.html
At the commencement of the relationship, the Narcissist is a dream-come-true.
He is often intelligent, witty, charming, good looking, an achiever,
empathetic, in need of love, loving, caring, attentive and much more. He is the
perfect bundled answer to the nagging questions of life: finding meaning,
companionship, compatibility and happiness. He is, in other words, ideal.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq68.html
The dissolution of the abuser's marriage or other meaningful (romantic,
business, or other) relationships constitutes a major life crisis and a
scathing narcissistic injury. To soothe and salve the pain of disillusionment,
he administers to his aching soul a mixture of lies, distortions, half-truths
and outlandish interpretations of events around him.
All abusers present with rigid and infantile (primitive) defense mechanisms:
splitting, projection, Projective Identification, denial, intellectualization,
and narcissism. But some abusers go further and decompensate by resorting to
self-delusion. Unable to face the dismal failures that they are, they partially
withdraws from reality.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse14.html
To victims of abuse, my advice is unequivocal:
LEAVE NOW. Leave before the effects of abuse - including PTSD (Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder) - become entrenched. Leave before your children begin to pay
the price as well.
But, if you insist on staying (always against the best interests of yourself
and your nearest and dearest) - here is a survival manual:
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/npdtips.html
Inverted Narcissist
Also called "covert narcissist", this is a co-dependent who depends
exclusively on narcissists (narcissist-co-dependent). If you are living with a
narcissist, have a relationship with one, if you are married to one, if you are
working with a narcissist, etc. – it does NOT mean that you are an inverted
narcissist.
To "qualify" as an inverted narcissist, you must CRAVE to be in a
relationship with a narcissist, regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by
him/her. You must ACTIVELY seek relationships with narcissists and ONLY with
narcissists, no matter what your (bitter and traumatic) past experience has
been. You must feel EMPTY and UNHAPPY in relationships with ANY OTHER kind of
person. Only then, and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of a
Dependent Personality Disorder, can you be safely labeled an "inverted
narcissist".
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq66.html
Living with a narcissist can be exhilarating, is always onerous, often
harrowing. Surviving a relationship with a narcissist indicates, therefore, the
parameters of the personality of the survivor. She (or, more rarely, he) is
molded by the relationship into The Typical Narcissistic Mate/Partner/Spouse.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq6.html
It takes two to tango – and an equal number to sustain a long-term abusive
relationship. The abuser and the abused form a bond, a dynamic, and a
dependence. Expressions such as "folie a deux" and the
"Stockholm Syndrome" capture facets – two of a myriad – of this danse
macabre. It often ends fatally. It is always an excruciatingly painful affair.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abusefamily.html
The – often involuntary – members of the narcissist's mini-cult inhabit a
twilight zone of his own construction. He imposes on them a shared psychosis,
replete with persecutory delusions, "enemies", mythical narratives,
and apocalyptic scenarios if he is flouted.
The narcissist's control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability, fuzziness,
and ambient abuse. His ever-shifting whims exclusively define right versus
wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be pursued and what to be avoided. He
alone determines the rights and obligations of his disciples and alters them at
will.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/journal79.html
These may also be of help - click on the links:
The Narcissist's Victims
https://samvak.tripod.com/faq38.html
Victim Reactions
http://personalitydisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/victim_reactions
The Three Forms of Closure
https://samvak.tripod.com/abuse17.html
Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid of
Him?
https://samvak.tripod.com/5.html
Traumas as Social Interactions
https://samvak.tripod.com/trauma.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse
https://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
https://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing
https://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html
Surviving the Narcissist
https://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html
Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder
https://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html
The Dependent Patient - A Case Study
https://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html