Sam Vaknin’s Instagram Epigrams (archive only)
Narcissism with Vaknin on Instagram (active account)
You are merely an internal object in the narcissist’s mind, so everything about you belong to him: from your happiness and thoughts to your emotions and possessions.
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There is no trauma and there is no abuse like narcissistic abuse. Period.
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The topic of serial killers is steeped in myths, misinformation, and stereotypes. The truth is much more bizarre!
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Icelandic is my kind of language 😉 Transcripts of my videos available here: http://www.vaknin-talks.com
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Lecture in Mexico City, January 27, 11 AM. Write to @jimenamera to obtain the address of the lecture hall. The lecture is in English with simultaneous translation and lasts 3 hours (including 90 minutes of Q&A).
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The mortal enemies of stupid people are the wise, the intelligent, and the educated.
The overwhelming vast majority of humanity are
inordinately obtuse and terrifyingly nescient.
Technology and democracy empower the dumbest.
Outcome: the days of the wise, the intelligent,
and the educated are numbered.
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When perpetual misery is your
comfort zone, you:
1. Choose and pursue the impossible and
unavailable; and
2. Avoid, devalue, shoot down, and shut off the
doable and the accessible.
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Jokes are a form of sublimated, attenuated sadism. Comedy and a sense of humor require the suspension of empathy. Read Bergson’s magisterial analysis of the comic, “Laughter”.
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2 videos in Spanish - swipe left. Congreso Internacional de Etudios Literarios, January 2024: Member of the Scientific Committee and presentation about the psychology of the protagonists of Dostoyevsky’s novels.
Certificate of participation in the Congreso Internacional de Etudios Literarios, January 2024: Member of the Scientific Committee and presentation about the psychology of the protagonists of Dostoyevsky’s novels.
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To take over your life and make it his, the narcissist first has to take your life away from you.
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Counterintuitive observations about narcissism, narcissistic abuse, codependency, love, “love”, and victimhood in Q&A session with audience in Mexico City. Thanks to @jimenamera for organizing this event.
Having a decaf cuppa ahead of the lecture to an
audience in Mexico
City. If you wish to organize a FREE lecture or a
PAID seminar in your location, please contact me.
I have released the Q&A segment of the Mexico
City event on my YouTube channel and will publish the lecture itself later this
week.
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You are afraid to experience positive emotions only because you dread having to endure the negative ones as well. In your tortured mind, intimacy and love are inextricably entangled with pain and shame.
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Cognition is the awareness of language, the conscious part, the overt
text. As such it evokes awareness of the thinking self, an identity.
When the thinking self is absent or in the case of
identity disturbance, awareness of the language is orphaned and leads to
attribution errors (fantasy, idealization, grandiosity, etc.)
Cognition is language and so precedes
consciousness and experience and shapes them.
When cognition more self-efficacious than action
the result is fantasy over reality.
“Self-efficacy” in this context is both internal
(example: anxiolysis) and external (favorable outcomes in the environment).
Even when reality testing is intact, cognition is
shaped and framed to maintain equilibrium and homeostasis.
Gradually, cognition expands to incorporate other
minds in an IWM and ToM via introjection. If the Other is perceived as unsafe,
this phase (Othering) fails and solipsism ensues.
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Narcissists have only extrinsic values and they force you to adopt and internalize them within the shared fantasy.
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Narcissistic abuse amounts to all forms of abuse rolled into one and seeks to eliminate the target as an independent, autonomous, agentic, and self-efficacious person.
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Victims who idealize themselves and demonize the narcissist are using splitting: a narcissistic defense, ironically.
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Vigilante Victimhood is when victims and self-styled victims break the law, ignore norms, and bypass institutions in order to grandiosely self-idealize, exact revenge, and secure entitlement to rights and benefits.
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The borderline outsources the regulation of emotions and moods to her/his partner (external regulation).
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In a world burgeoning with narcissists and
psychopaths, narcissistic
and psychopathic leaders afford their acolytes the
illusions of safety and protection.
In a reality comprised of the dumb, the insane,
and the nescient, empowered as they are by technology and the vote, the stupid,
deranged, and ignorant rise to the top.
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Narcissists perceive the truth as a cruel and malevolent aggression against them. @shadowdeangelis
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The narcissist is incapable of othering (of perceiving others as external and separate). So, he creates a representation of you in his/her mind (introjects or “snapshots” you) and then proceeds to interact with this internal object rather with you. @shadowdeangelis
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We live in an age when genius is considered creepy, victimhood saintly, erudition suspect, faking brilliant, and integrity stupid.
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The narcissist has no continuous memory of you, so it is easy for him/her to devalue you.
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Grandiosity is part of a fantasy defense that involves ideas of reference, othering failure, object apophenia, social pareidolia, hostile attribution and confirmation biases, and a lot more besides.
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The psychopath customizes the fantasy to fit the partner; the narcissist coerces the partner to
fit the (shared) fantasy.
The psychopath tailors the relationship fantasy to
reflect the partner’s wishes, dreams, needs, wants, and hopes.
The narcissist cajoles the partner within the
shared fantasy to fit the narcissist’s wishes, dreams, needs, wants, and hopes.
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Narcissist incapable of any kind of love.
Othering failure (incapable of perceiving others
as separate or external objects).
Positive and negative emotions intertwined.
Cognitive over emotional.
Bad object validation as unlovable: projective
identification.
Superiority, power (love is mundane, weakness)
lead to contempt.
Reenactment of early childhood conflicts
(separation-individuation)
Love is incestuous.
Love ends in pain, abandonment, is unsafe, a loss
of control over threats (external locus), anxiogenic.
Love conditioned on performance, transactional,
benefits.
On Daria Żukowska’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geaZ_1547Io
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Confabulation is the narcissist’s attempt to bridge dissociative memory
gaps by constructing scenarios of what is most likely to have happened. It is a
theory about missing time.
But, the narcissist believes that the theory
(confabulation) is real and true because he is the one who came up with it.
Being infallible and omniscient, in his mind, he never makes mistakes.
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The somatic narcissist derives narcissistic supply from other people’s reactions to
his body: sexual conquests, bodybuilding, youthfulness, athletic prowess,
competence in outdoor activities, or mere preening and titivating. Cerebral
narcissists flaunt their intellect, intelligence, and knowledge to secure
attention and adulation.
Whether one becomes a somatic narcissist or a
cerebral one depends on one’s upbringing as a child. If the infant is taught
that it can secure the parents’ love only by being intellectually brilliant -
it becomes a cerebral narcissist. If it is conditioned to excel in sports or
outdoor activities and to compete for sexual conquests as a prerequisite for
being loved, it becomes somatic.
Male narcissists are misogynists. They hold women
in contempt, they loathe and fear them. They seek to torment and frustrate them
(either by debasing them sexually - or by withholding sex from them). They
harbor ambiguous feelings towards the sexual act.
The somatic narcissist uses sex to “conquer” and
“secure” new sources of narcissistic supply. Consequently, the somatic rarely
gets emotionally-involved with his “targets”. His is a mechanical act, devoid
of intimacy and commitment. The cerebral narcissist feels that sex is demeaning
and degrading. Acting on one’s sex drive is a primitive, basic, and common
impulse. The cerebral narcissist convinces himself that he is above all that,
endowed as he is with superior intelligence and superhuman self-control.
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Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) destroy your
physical and mental health later in life.
From Child to Narcissist Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLS_UgiRThg&list=PLsh_y_ett4o1D9iPsx9nI0ruUl4HHRzxi
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Vigilante Victimhood is when victims and self-styled victims break the law, ignore norms, and bypass institutions in order to grandiosely self-idealize, exact revenge, and secure entitlement to rights and benefits.
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What goes through the mind of a murderer who is also a malignant narcissist?
Isla Traquair on Instagram @islatraquair
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As the narcissist’s counterparty in the shared fantasy - intimate partner, friend - either you naturally conform to your role as bad, “dead” mother or you are coerced to conform to it (aka projective identification) and thus lose yourself, become estranged to yourself.
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Next segment of the interview:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zg3bh_YKfU
Kelly Brogan, MD https://www.kellybroganmd.com/
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There are 3 ways to doom your
interpersonal relationships:
1. To always take and rarely give;
2. To constantly give and seldom take;
3. To limit your interactions to give and take, to
render them 100% transactional.
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America’s DSM presidential elections is a contest between craven dementia and psychopathic malignant narcissism.
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There are 3 developmental pathways to the formation of pathological narcissism.
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From the trenches, a narcissistic abuse victim turned coach talks to me about her experience.
Michelle on social media https://www.tiktok.com/@michellesecret1
https://www.instagram.com/michellesecret1
https://www.facebook.com/p/Michellesecret1
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@shadowdeangelis warns against pathological hope (called malignant optimism, in my work) in relationships with narcissists.
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Proof: if you are feeling that you are not
yourself – then who are you and who is doing the estrangement? The narcissist’s
introject.
Introjecting the entraining narcissist generates a
schizoid state (emptiness) which mimics the narcissist’s.
Schizoid state as adaptation to narcissistic
abuse. Split negative internal objects become identified with the Self and the
victim defends against these negative thoughts by dissociating the Self
altogether.
Yet, if the narcissist’s introject is in charge,
takes over – why the estrangement? Owing to encounters with repressed former
self.
Approach-avoidance repetition compulsion with an
objectified, mythologized, idealized self (relic of narcissist’s idealization
and nostalgia).
Alienating self-consciousness and introspection.
WATCH Narcissist vs. Borderline On Autopilot: Depersonalization Derealization Disorder https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t67-dpkbOg
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Narcissists are fully aware of their actions and of the difference between right and wrong. But they are unaware of their motivations (the psychodynamics). @liberatefromnarcabuse
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Recovering After Religious Narcissistic Abuse by Rene Gade Musings on YouTube.
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We all hurt people. But we never lose sight of the other’s humanity and separateness. Power-hungry psychopaths, deluded narcissists, and disappointed borderlines hurt people as if they were mere collateral damage, they dehumanize and objectify them.
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Promiscuity in both genders is a lifelong process addiction. It is correlated with dark personalties and is an excellent predictor of serial infidelity and breakups or divorces in relationships. @gray_beard_actual
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Alexithymia may be a form of narcissism and
anankastia (rigid, rule-bound perfectionism)
LITERATURE
Oltmanns, J. R., & Widiger, T. A. (2018). A
self-report measure for the ICD-11 dimensional trait model proposal: The
personality inventory for ICD-11. Psychological Assessment, 30(2), 154–169. https://doi.org/10
.1037/pas0000459
Stricker, J., Buecker, S., & Pietrowsky, R.
(2022, May 5). Alignment of the Personality Inventory for ICD-11 With the Five
Factor Model of Personality. Psychological Assessment. Advance online
publication. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pas0001141
WATCH How Narcissist is Mortified (Empathy
Aphantasia) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnQ0mRHk9Kg
WATCH NPD CANCELLED in ICD-11:
Narcissism=Dissociality+Anankastia+Negative Affectivity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtJyQa5Yny0
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Killers Get Caught Because They Become Over-confident, not because they want to Get Caught. With @islatraquair
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What would happen when predatory narcissists and
psychopaths run out of prey? Growing victim awareness
and the stigmatization and criminalization of narcissistic abuse could lead to
a trophic cascade.
LITERATURE
Why Sharks Matter: A Deep Dive with the World’s
Most Misunderstood Predator by David Shiffman, Johns Hopkins University Press,
2022
WATCH How Narcissist Deceives YOU (Aggressive
Mimicry: Predator Faking Prey) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30Tux08X8Ac
WATCH Narcissism Virus Vaccine NOW: It Evades Your
Immunity! Real Pandemic Is Here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uczI-m4Zb9o
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Covert
narcissists pretend to be lovable, helpless, and
innocent victims of narcissistic abuse.
According to the hawk-dove model of predator and
prey, hawks refuse to share their prey and predator doves often pretend to be
prey.
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The narcissist is a natural predator, not unlike a tiger or a virus.
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Homosexuality is no longer a mental health diagnosis in the DSM. But is it natural?
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Formation of narcissism entirely up to mother (see From Child to Narcissist playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrtmWMSOGmA&list=PLsh_y_ett4o1D9iPsx9nI0ruUl4HHRzx )
Father affects the manifestations (expression) of the pathology:
Dead father (collapsed, narcissistic, absent-neglectful, frustrating, depressive, inadequate)
Shameful, failure, loser father
Intermittent, splitting, approach-avoidant, bipolar father (self-worth lability)
Antisocial-entitled father
Fantasy-prone father
Harsh, critical, rejecting father (people-pleaser, codependent, covert/inverted)
Unjust-sadistic father (contumaciousness, defiance)
Dysregulated father
Incestuous father
Parentifying father
Instrumentalizing father
Pedestalizing father (impaired reality testing, grandiosity)
Submissive, codependent, covert-inverted father
WATCH Daddy Issues: Daddy's Girl, Mama’s Boy, Father Complex https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkCF1Ijudwc
WATCH Narcissist and Victim: Daddy or Mommy Issues? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNQsPov11XU
You His Mommy, He Your Daddy: Narcissist’s Mixed Signals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WEib0Po7og
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To the narcissist, all people are useful tools (in both senses of the word) or collateral damage.
The impact the narcissist is having on people’s
lives, for better or for worse, is a mere by-product or a side effect of
his/her pursuit of grandiosity-affirming narcissistic, sadistic, or self-supply.
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Locus of grandiosity of malignant (psychopathic)
and sadistic narcissists is their invulnerability, unemotionality, flat
attachment, rigidity, and heartless cruelty (disguised as altruism, if
prosocial).
They are transactional:
To the narcissist, all people are useful tools (in
both senses of the word) or collateral damage. The impact the narcissist is
having on people’s lives, for better or for worse, is a mere by-product or a
side effect of his/her pursuit of grandiosity-affirming narcissistic, sadistic,
or self-supply.
Do you care about me? Narcissist: I do. You are
useful to me. But, don’t you have emotions for me? N: I don’t do emotions. I do
relationship maintenance. I do business: give and take. So, why stay in touch?
N: I owe you. I repay my debts. Plus, you could still be useful.
Their shared fantasy is inverted; they start with hatebombing, devaluation and discard (the whole point of the fantasy),
mixed with negative idealization (mythological demonization). So, their
fantasies are extremely short, nasty, and brutal.
In rare cases, when the potential partner is also
a malignant or sadistic narcissist, they become codependent or borderline,
though still manifesting dysregulated abuse and coercive behaviors.
In such inverted shared fantasies, they transition
to the role of a victim, letting the counterparty initiate the separation by
betraying them (betrayal fantasy).
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The narcissist’s shared fantasy is a form of reaction formation: s/he ends up devaluing and discarding that which s/he craves most.
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Marriage used to be a social institution. Now it is an individual lifestyle choice, one of many.
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Intimate partners of the narcissist who have no mental health issues of their own could be just vulnerable owing to a recent life crisis or to feeling very lonely or they may be seeking an adventure.
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Negging or backhanded compliments are repeated and escalating
insults and personal attacks disguised as compliments or even as flattery:
compliment what you do but attack who you are.
They are meant to leverage your vulnerabilities
and push your buttons. They can incorporate public shaming. They adversely
affect self-esteem.
Sadistic help is succor or advice that comes
replete with extreme devaluation disguised as “tough love”.
Both involve brutal, dysempathic honesty and
passive-aggression. Both are forms of intermittent reinforcement.
Unfavorably comparing you to other people and
insults disguised as collective criticism (criticizing you - not your actions).
For example:
• “Well, don’t you look fabulous? I would never
have the courage to wear my hair like that.”
• “I’m so proud of you for quitting smoking! Too
bad you already have all those little lines on your face.”
• “Congratulations for winning the ice dancing
competition! Maybe some day you’ll give a real sport a try.”
• In some culture being overweight is considered
very attractive!
• People are attracted to intelligence, not
necessarily to good looks.
• They are leveraging your narcissism and paranoia
to play you for a fool
• Let me fix this for you. You have never been
good with your hands.
• Being a good parent is not everything in life.
• Don’t try to do it. You are not good at it.
• I don’t mind the costs of being with you. That’s
what friends are for.
• This dress would look fabulous on you once you
had lost some weight.
Add you own examples.
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Narcissists recreate themselves on the fly and maintain their false self by relying on input and feedback from other people (mirroring via other people’s gaze). Video originally uploaded to my YouTube channel in 2011.
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Breaking up with the narcissist involves grieving over who you used to be prior to the relationship. But there are four other, simultaneous and devastating types of grief involved.
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The narcissist’s shared fantasy
is a form of reaction formation: s/he ends up
devaluing and discarding that which s/he craves most.
The narcissist is conditioned as a child to expect
love only subject to performance and the suspension of the self. So, s/he
dispenses with what s/he craves most – a maternal figure - in order to earn
some love.
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Narcissists are delusional. They believe their own confabulations, fantasies, and promises, so they never gaslight or futurefake. @shadowdeangelis
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Victims keep insisting that they have been chosen by the narcissist
because of WHO they are.
Next, they recount how the narcissist discarded
them and instantly switched to someone who is their exact opposite.
So, clearly the narcissist couldn’t care less who
you are as long as you keep providing him with 2 of the 4 Ss within a shared
fantasy: sex, supply, services, and safety.
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If narcissists are delusional and disconnected
from reality, how come they are more successful than many normal people?
The modern economy, definitely in the last hundred
years, but more so after 1990, is about the manipulation of symbols within
fantastic spaces.
Narcissism Cheshire Effect
Cat narcopaths vs. smile narcopaths: cat ones focus on rewards and goals in outside world, smile
ones emphasize how these rewards make them feel, on their inner world, which is
often fantastic.
Narcissists are successful precisely because they
are delusional and disconnected from reality.
The narcissist, throughout his life, from a very
early age, as a child, had invented an imaginary friend and then a godlike
figure, the false self, and spent the rest of his life interacting symbolically
in a fantastic space.
In the modern economy, in the modern world,
narcissism is a positive adaptation.
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The narcissist perceives only himself/herself as real and all others as unreal. The borderline perceives herself/himself as unreal and only her intimate partner or special friend as real.
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To understand happiness, we need to study its absence.
Three components:
1. Having managed your life well, having
self-actualized self-efficaciously (Maslow);
2. Having contributed to a collective (community)
whose member you are;
3. Having conducted yourself with dignity and
integrity, having respected and loved yourself.
Happiness is not gratification: it is a state of
being, not a state of mind, it is internal, not external. So, self-sufficiency,
not grandiosity, and not hedonism=not narcissism.
Happiness is individual, lack of happiness is
universal.
So, I devised a map of happiness:
1. What could you not be happy without?
2. How does absence of happiness feel?
Andrei Tanase is a film director from Bucharest,
Romania. He is currently working on a documentary film that aims to shed light
on the pursuit of happiness. His, or anyone else’s. The original name of the
film is “In preajma fericirii” and is scheduled for completion towards the end
of 2024.
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Bad mothers beget bad offspring.
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Borderline’s
good object is compensatory: her misbehaviors and
dysregulation belie it. Uses external regulation and fantasy to avoid the
latter and thus affirm the former.
Narcissist’s misbehaviors are compensatory,
intended to belie his/her bad object. Uses external regulation to enhance the
former and thus deny the latter.
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BPD
and NPD are not the same as CPTSD. They are
different ways of REACTING to CPTSD.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is not the
same as complex trauma (CPTSD).
BPD is a specific type of a multilayered pattern
of REACTION to CPTSD.
It is partly genetically- and
neurobiologically-determined.
So is pathological narcissism: it is a form of
idiosyncratic REACTIVE PATTERN to early childhood CPTSD.
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The masses feel that they are being held hostage and enslaved by
rapacious, venal, and mendacious elites.
They regard these elites and their values as
avowed enemies: the West, governments, academia, mainstream media, science, the
finance industry, the Jews.
The enemies of the elites are the friends of the
masses: terrorists, antisemites, conspiracy theorists, Russia, China, populist
authoritarians, the alt right.
The masses abuse democracy and empowering
technologies in order to destroy the established order.
This is Jose Ortega y Gasset’s “Revolt of the
Masses” which always results in ochlocracies and atrocities.
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Exit the narcissist’s theatre play and start to direct your own. Courtesy @mirna_liz37
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When narcissists steal your ideas and take credit for your work, they convince themselves that your ideas and work have been theirs to start with.
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How does it feel to have a false self?
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Projection is when you attribute to other people the parts in you -
traits, cognitions, emotions, behaviors - that you are ashamed of, feel guilty
about, or reject.
So, you cannot project positive elements of
yourself onto others - only negative ones.
When you wrongly attribute positive traits,
behaviors, motivations, talents, emotions, or cognitions to others or when you
exaggerate them- this is idealization, not projection.
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Overt
Narcissist in 2 words: spoiled brag.
Covert Narcissist in 1 word: humblebrag.
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A healthy sense of self-worth (regulated and stable) is modified by feedback and experience without compromising or altering the core (situated self-esteem, Bednar, Wells, and Peterson (1989).
Narcissism involves attribution errors, a stable, regulated sense of self-worth does not.
Narcissism is compensatory, sense of self-worth is not, is innate. So, narcissism is totally reactive to the environment and externally regulated while self-esteem and self-confidence are only minimally so are self-correcting (internally regulated).
When narcissist misbehaves or collapses, his bad object is triggered and this undermines his grandiosity.
To defend against shame, guilt, envy, and antagonism, and to restore his grandiosity, narcissist reframes and confabulates, usually casting himself as prosocial or as a victim (“these ideas and work are mine, I did not steal or plagiarize them”, “I committed the crime because I had no choice”, “I slept with my best friend’s girlfriend because he trapped me into it, he made me do it, she seduced me”, etc.) Raskin, Novacek, and Hogan (1991).
LITERATURE
WATCH From Insight to Self-love, Self-care: 4 Conditions, 4 Steps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQXfW0hTntU
WATCH Love Yourself: Here’s How - or, The Four Pillars of Self-love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo
Self-Esteem and Narcissism: Implications for Practice, Katz, Lilian G. ERIC Digest, August 1993.
Early physiological indicators of narcissism and self-esteem in children, Eddie Brummelman, Milica Nikolić, Barbara Nevicka, Susan M. Bögels, May 2022, https://doi.org/10.1111/psyp.14082
Hyatt CS, Sleep CE, Lamkin J, Maples-Keller JL, Sedikides C, Campbell WK, Miller JD. Narcissism and self-esteem: A nomological network analysis. PLoS One. 2018 Aug 1;13(8):e0201088. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0201088. PMID: 30067800; PMCID: PMC6070240.
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The psychopath is cold, calculating, premeditated, cunning, scheming, and goal-oriented. Narcissists and borderlines are impulsive. With @islatraquair Isla Tarquair.
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People-pleasers seek to avoid or ameliorate conflict by catering to other
people’s needs and conforming to their expectations.
Codependents seek to control and manipulate others
by gratifying them, but also by clinging, acting needy, and emotionally
extorting (“control from the bottom”).
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Technology reflects and is responsive to social trends.
The tidal wave of narcissism led to the emergence
of solipsistic, self-aggrandising social media.
The poor quality of infantile, entitled,
self-indulgent, and narcissistic Millennials and Gen Z employees is what
brought about artificial intelligence to replace them.
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Transgressions in shared fantasy space are mostly arbitrary, inconsistent,
and imaginary.
Relationship management tool: reflects changes in
perception of perpetrator and of self.
Reconstitution of grandiosity: Omnipotence:
Inadmissibility of losing or being outwitted.
Reconstitution of grandiosity: Omniscient
Infallibility: always right.
Righteous, anankastic indignation for moral injury
(high moral ground, morality play): establishing blame, irreversibility of harm
or damage.
Restorative justice and equity (reparations,
restitution, amends).
Punitive vengeance: vindication.
Reasserting control.
Deterrence (behavior modification) and
reputational costs of forgiving (appearing weak and vulnerable).
External solution to narcissistic mortification:
severe consequences, part of pattern, inexcusable, immoral, gratuitous (mean,
cruel), victim loses more than perpetrator gains (magnitude gap),
disproportional.
Rumination, obsession, victimhood.
Grudge Theory (Roy Baumeister, Julie Exline,
Kristin Sommer)
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Charlatans and con artists thrive knowing the
following:
People prefer fake niceness to sincere contempt, faux kindness to overt impatience,
feigned empathy to offhanded rejection, disingenuous compassion to honest
indifference.
In short: people would always rather have
pretended make-believe over the honest truth.
Narcissists and, even more so, psychopaths refuse to limit their freedom to act: they are defiant, contumacious, and entitled.
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The relationship with the borderline is a cycle of stability-lability and regulation-dysregulation
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Is a good, strong, long-lasting marriage or relationship a shared fantasy?
WATCH 7 Phases of Shared Fantasy: Why Narcissist Needs YOU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kp3YFC0OQfU
WATCH Fight Coercive Control, Collusive Infidelity (Sander's Shared Fantasy) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZYCqmkkrsY
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Eloquence is not necessarily or always a sign of intelligence. Verbal
pyrotechnics often disguise profound ignorance and muddled thinking.
This shallow and pathetic imitation of a true
intellectual is known as “headline knowledge”.
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That you are saving and healing millions doesn’t give you the right to hurt even one person.
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Narcissists turn off their narcissism and alter their body language in certain environments.
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WATCH When Covert Narcissists Cross Paths, Swords https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp8axjriC00
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What the narcissist’s entraining does to your mind.
Meme courtesy @mirna_liz37
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I
get really catty when:
1. People denigrate me with the n-word
(narcissist) ungrateful for my pioneering work in the field of narcissistic
abuse (which I was the first to describe, 30 years ago);
2. People emerge from the woodwork with infantile
nonsense like god, astrology, homeopathy, anti-vaxxing, or Q-Anon and other
deranged conspiracy theories;
3. People claim expertise on issues and topics
they know nothing about;
4. People ask me questions because they are too
lazy to search my YouTube channel or google the answer;
5. People are too stupid to grasp how dumb they
are;
6. People address me disrespectfully as if we are
best buddies, though I couldn’t tell them from Adam (or Eve) for the life of me.
7. Covert narcissists faking it as “victims”,
healers, gurus, and “empaths”.
And this is a partial list.
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Delusion
A belief, idea, or conviction firmly held despite
abundant information to the contrary. The partial or complete loss of reality
test is the first indication of a psychotic state or episode. Beliefs, ideas,
or convictions shared by other people, members of the same collective, are not,
strictly speaking, delusions, although they may be hallmarks of shared
psychosis. There are many types of delusions:
I. Paranoid
The belief that one is being controlled or
persecuted by stealth powers and conspiracies.
2. Grandiose-magical
The conviction that one is important, omnipotent,
possessed of occult powers, or a historic figure.
3. Referential (ideas of reference)
The belief that external, objective events carry
hidden or coded messages or that one is the subject of discussion, derision, or
opprobrium, even by total strangers.
Delusions
(or Ideas) of Reference, Referential Ideation
The counterfactual conviction that unrelated
events and people are somehow specifically meaningful to the person and
intentionally effected. A patient with delusions of reference is convinced that
he is the topic of malicious gossip, the victim of pranks, or the recipient of
messages (for instance, through the media). See also: idea of reference,
persecutory delusion.
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Pathological narcissism, borderline personality, and anxious psychopathy involve the only partly successful suppression of cognitions (thoughts) via ironic processes. Similarly entrained abuse involves ironic processes in the victim’s mind. @liberatefromnarcabuse
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Narcissists are not in love with themselves - they are in love with their reflections.
WATCH What Happens When Narcissists Meet Each Other or a Psychopath? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0e0gPNyetNU
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Mentally healthy people: 1. Control their impulses; 2. Are aware of the consequences of their actions; 3. Choose always to minimize harm to others and to themselves (self-love and empathy).
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We misunderstand Donald Trump’s appeal and misconstrue the Palestinian state.
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My suggested new diagnosis (clinical entity) of “covert borderline” is making inroads.
Both the classic and covert borderline (many of
the latter are men) act out.
Here is a table which compares the clinical
features of the two subtypes.
It is based on the schematic present by Arnold M.
Cooper and S. Akhtar in 1989 for classic vs. cover narcissist.
https://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders18.html
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People who are exposed to abuse and trauma in early
childhood learn to second guess other people’s moods,
emotions, and motivations and to be alert to cues such as facial expressions
and body language.
This skill has nothing to do with empathy. They
are not “empaths”. They are hypervigilant.
What’s the difference?
Example: pets are hypervigilant. But no pet can
empathize with its human owner.
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The narcissist is hijacked by his/her false self.
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Everything
starts with a thought, with a dream, with a narrative.
Everything: buildings, books, films, wars, love,
children. Reality itself.
We are beings made of visions, storytellers whose
natural habitat is in their own minds.
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Using entraining, the narcissist dissociates your original personality and replaces it with his/her own introject. Video uploaded to my YouTube channel in 2020 titled “Narcissist Entrains Codependent, Borderline”.
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Narcissists have bad or idealized objects. Normal people have good objects.
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False Self intended to silence bad object introjects. Compensatory success measured by how silent they are. When narcissist collapses or is mortified, introjects are revived. False Self regards your personality as an introject (othering failure) and seeks to silence (dissociate) it and replace it with itself.
WATCH Narcissist Entrains Codependent, Borderline: Brainwash, Regulate, Repeat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHAeew65frU
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Ghosting
Like a ghost
I pass away, imprinted
In your lives
The minds and retinas of lovers
Strewn across my path
Ephemeral.
In kingdoms
Where I once ruled
Invisible
A memory of slaughtered dreams
And thwarted sunshines.
I wish to hold a hand across the Time
That sacks me.
Perchance
The apparition of a smile.
Skin flouting skin.
The bony chill of lovemaking
In search of love.
I shall be no more, I know.
No one will carry me henceforth,
Merely aspired, I am
A dissipated recollection of an existence failed.
Poetry of Healing and Abuse https://samvak.tripod.com/contents.html
Image courtesy of @mirna_liz37
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Narcissistic
elation is the driving force behind the narcissist’s
shared fantasy and is the precursor of separation-individuation in healthy
adults.
Everything starts with a thought, with a dream,
with a narrative. Everything: buildings, books, films, wars, love, children.
Reality itself. We are beings made of visions, storytellers whose natural
habitat is their own minds.
Fantasy is not only a counterfactual narrative or
coercion. It is a regulatory mechanism, a form of self-supply, a defense
against fragility and vulnerability, a time machine (regression to symbiosis
and womb), a fake good object, a cognitive distortion, a pseudo-emotion
(euphoria, not elation and dysphoria, not depletion).
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WATCH How 2 Types of Gaslighting Affect You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOkHsl9Mioo
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The narcissists idealizes people and then uses their gaze to idealize him/herself. This is the process of co-idealization, the second phase in the shared fantasy.
Prognosis for BPD is good, treatments are effective. CIE: Creativity, Intensity, Enlightenment, the hallmarks of the borderline.
WATCH Suicide: Why Choose Life, Not Death! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QstiRetuNfw
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The narcissist possesses - or rather is possessed
by - either a bad
object or an idealized one, both fantasy-based and
cognitively distorted.
Bad object: a constellation of internalized
(introjected) voices that keep informing the narcissist how bad, unlovable,
unworthy, and inadequate s/he is.
Idealized object: a constellation of internalized
(introjected) voices that keep telling the narcissist that s/he is perfect,
infallible, can do no wrong, and godlike.
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Some people just lend themselves to caricature!
Courtesy of Tamara Lynn
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The traits of narcissists, psychopaths, and borderlines contradict each other. How can someone have them all?
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There is no grandiosity without victimhood. They are 2 sides of the same coin.
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Lecture in Zagreb to mental health clinicians.
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Presented as a class in CIAPS (Commonwealth
Institute for Advanced Professional Studies), Cambridge, UK; Toronto, Canada;
Lagos, Nigeria ( https://www.ciaps.org )
Case study contains a
narrative and a conclusion regarding an event, transaction, corporate entity,
institution, or specific individuals within these structures.
Narrative: facts, context, theories, assumptions
Conclusion: analysis, criticism, solutions or path
forward (vision)
Bear your audience in mind
It is study aid: should interest, entertain,
enlighten, transform
It is a management diagnostic tool and
prescriptive instrument
Human angle: motivations, defenses, actions,
stakeholders
Fact gathering and fact checking: open sources,
interviews, documents, statistics and numerical information (such as financial
statements)
Context: industry, economy, trends (both in the
specific marketplace and global), history (comparison to similar situations in
the past)
Issues, problems, structure vs. function
Theories and heuristics
Structure of case study:
Abstract, Executive Summary, or Synopsis
Introduction and Goals
Facts and Findings
Analysis and Discussion
Conclusions, Recommendations, and Solutions
Limitations, unintended consequences, and
opportunity costs
Literature (bibliography)
Appendices, Footnotes, Indices
The Process of Due Diligence https://samvak.tripod.com/nm048.html
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The twin processes of modeling and socialization are disrupted in narcissism. Lecture to mental health
clinicians in Zagreb, March 2024.
Video courtesy of @reframingtheself
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2 of every 3 people give the silent treatment. It is increasing as alternative modes of interpersonal
communication become mainstream.
Silent treatment is (1) efficiently punitive (2)
social (takes a perpetrator and a target) (3) manipulative (controlling) (4)
emotionally distant (5) exclusionary (6) plausibly deniable (element of
gaslighting: not abuse) (7) coercive (forces the victim to apologize) (8)
alloplastic (9) preserves negative affects (10) addictive (11) expressive
(displeasure, disapproval, frustration, anger, disappointment, contempt) (12)
creates uncertainty (13) attention-seeking (14) negating
Shunning, stonewalling, ghosting, blocking,
banning, deleting comments between individuals – but not Tactical ignoring.
Passive givers perceive silent treatment as
graceful, dignified, and conflict-avoidant.
Responsive to pressured requests, pleas, demands,
or criticism.
Both verbal and bodily (avoidance of eye contact,
physical distance)
Generates in both giver and receiver threatened
needs of belonging, self-esteem, and meaningful existence. Giver’s perceived
control enhanced.
Activates same area in brain that codes for
physical and emotional pain anterior cingulate cortex.
What to do about silent treatment?
Chill rather than silent treatment: ‘I can’t talk
to you right now, but we can talk about it later, in 1 hour.’
Voice the pain of being ignored (Margaret Clark,
psychology professor at Yale)
Set Healthy Boundaries
Communication protocols (I statements and naming
the situation)
Acknowledge other person’s feelings
Apologize only if justified, do not reward
(positively reinforce) silent treatment
Practice self-care
Don’t take it personally
Stay calm
Use humor
Avoid escalation, blaming, shaming
Seek help and succor
LITERATURE
Williams, K. D., Shore, W. J., & Grahe, J. E.
(1998). The Silent Treatment: Perceptions of its Behaviors and Associated
Feelings. Group Processes & Intergroup Relations, 1(2), 117–141. https://doi.org/10.1177/1368430298012002
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The popular sentiment is: it is legitimate to fight evil with evil. Minusing a minus makes a plus.
The legal and ethical position is unequivocal: two
wrongs never make a right. Breaking the law or acting immorally just in order
to fight the wicked is the refuge of the scoundrel.
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The narcissist idealizes
himself through delusional assumptions about the
contents of other people’s gaze (“co-idealization”).
The cerebral becomes his/her own love object:
“They regard me as a lovable genius, so this makes me worthy of self-love”.
The somatic is rendered his/her own sex object:
“They find me irresistibly attractive, so I am inexorably sexually drawn to
myself” (autoerotism)
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How can the sadistic narcissist be sure that people do indeed find him irresistible? That they are not manipulating him or telling him what he wants to hear?
He tests them in two ways:
1. By subjecting them to narcissistic abuse; and
2. By presenting sexual demands and practices which are disgusting, shameful, debasing, degrading, and humiliating. Kink, threesomes, group sex, sadomaso, and paraphilias.
If his partners stick around despite the abuse and also consider his sexual wishes and predilections alluring, it must mean that they find him irresistible.
But he needs them to give enthusiastic consent or even initiate the sex acts and practices. Such consent and enthusiasm serve to emphasize the sadistic narcissist’s irresistibility.
Unlike the classic, non-narcissistic sadist, the sadistic narcissist assiduously shuns all forms of coercion because it detracts from his self-perception as irresistible.
When the grandiosity of the sadistic narcissist is challenged or undermined in any way (narcissistic injury or mortification), no amount of enthusiastic consent and no number of willing partners can convince him of his irresistibility. He decathects himself (self-rejects) and loses his sex drive altogether, becoming celibate.
Sadistic narcissists use hatebombing and abuse to loyalty test the partner.
The sadistic narcissist is exhibitionistic and autoerotic. His body is his exclusive sex and love object (narcissistic libido). He is not aroused by other people, their minds or their bodies. He is impervious to flirting or seduction.
He apprehends his body through other people’s gaze (exhibitionism) and then gets aroused and consummates the sex with masturbation which often involves self-inflicted masochistic or paraphiliac acts and, more rarely, crossdressing.
Self-penetration with sex toys and objects is common as are caressing, hugging, or kissing erotogenic parts the body: an enactment of intercourse with oneself.
But to yield arousal, other people’s gaze must confirm to the sadistic narcissist his omnipotence and irresistibility.
It goes like this in the mind of the sadistic narcissist:
“People find me irresistible. Since I am irresistible to others, I find myself irresistibly attractive as well. So, now I can have sadomasochistic sex with a perfect object: with irresistible me.”
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Between
the covers of my books
Tattered worlds await.
People smeared on pages
Desiccated.
My gaze revives their intercourse
In every way.
Itinerant, I wonder
voluminously
A hefty fly on crumbling walls
Of ink and lachrymosity.
Tomes of my pains and memories
bound in my hide.
A palimpsest on the
brittle parchment
That is me.
My private archaeology.
Then sepia dust.
Poetry of Healing and Abuse http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/contents.html
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Elizabeth Shaw on what sets narcissistic abuse apart from all other forms of maltreatment and misconduct.
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Fantasies of different kind play crucial roles in both borderline and narcissistic disorders of the self. With Prof. Ed Dutton, the Jolly Heretic. Full talk on www.jollyheretic.com
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Remove the narcissist’s spell: 3 affirmations
1. It is not about me. It is not my fault. The
narcissist lives inside his/her mind and reacts only to internal dynamics. S/he
is out of touch with reality.
2. I was chosen by the narcissist because of
his/her needs and fantasy - not because of WHO I am.
3. The narcissist was compelled to devalue and
discard me in order to exorcise his/her inner “demons”. I could have done
nothing to prevent it and neither could the narcissist.
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Regard your life as a movie. The main goal in life, the core task, and the engine of
meaning is to direct the film so as to render it an accomplished hit, a work of
art and a masterpiece of narrative.
At every inflection point and faced with any
critical decision, you should truthfully answer the question: would I have paid
money to watch this yarn that I am weaving, the flick that is my life? If the
answer is NO, a transformative change of course is called for.
Directing the film should be your overriding
priority. Every other thing should be subservient and secondary to it, everyone
in your life should feature in it.
Yet, you should navigate this leitmotif and
channel your creativity without a script, as an exercise in extemporizing. The
twists and turns of the plot should come as a surprise first and foremost to
yourself.
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@shadowdeangelis sums up the ways in which narcissists brainwash and hijack minds (entraining).
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A nation is the sempiternal reification and embodiment of a
historical-cultural narrative.
A state is an artificial creation. It derives its
legitimacy from (1) an internal consensus among its people and (2) from
external recognition and acceptance by other states.
When a state loses either of these 2
prerequisites, its borders change or it ceases to exist altogether.
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How to Seduce a Narcissist
1. Stay mysterious. Hold back some information
about yourself even as you dangle titillating snippets. Mystery is a great
aphrodisiac.
2. Communicate your desire or lust obliquely. Hint
- don’t be explicit. Indicate readiness - but make it contingent and don’t
haggle.
3. Emphasize him/her. Display laser-like interest
as concerning his/her life, interests, and dreams. Create a semblance of a
nascent shared fantasy. Lure him/her into your potential.
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The shared fantasy is a joint venture between the narcissist and his
insignificant other. Lecture to mental health clinicians in Zagreb, Croatia.
Video courtesy of @reframingtheself
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Three techniques to reverse the narcissist’s entraining, brainwashing.
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Psychology of gold diggers and sugar babes:
Insecurity
Entitlement
Objectification
Transactionalism
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Developed by Sam Vaknin, Cold Therapy is based on two premises: (1) That narcissistic disorders
are actually forms of complex post-traumatic conditions; and (2) That
narcissists are the outcomes of arrested development and attachment
dysfunctions. Consequently, Cold Therapy borrows techniques from child
psychology and from treatment modalities used to deal with PTSD.
Cold Therapy consists of the re-traumatization of
the narcissistic client in a hostile, non-holding environment which resembles
the ambience of the original trauma. The adult patient successfully tackles
this second round of hurt and thus resolves early childhood conflicts and
achieves closure rendering his now maladaptive narcissistic defenses redundant,
unnecessary, and obsolete.
Cold Therapy makes use of proprietary techniques
such as erasure (suppressing the client’s speech and free expression and
gaining clinical information and insights from his reactions to being so
stifled). Other techniques include: grandiosity reframing, guided imagery,
negative iteration, other-scoring, happiness map, mirroring, escalation, role
play, assimilative confabulation, hypervigilant referencing, and re-parenting.
It may prove to be an effective treatment for major depressive episodes as well.
More here: https://samvak.tripod.com/faq77.html#coldtherapy
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How to tell the difference between a self-styled fake “expert” and a real one?
My credentials and work in the field of narcissism
available here: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html
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Do we hate those who resemble us the most - or the least?
Negative identity via othering, alterity (Levinas), stereotyping, stigmatization.
But “nearly we” (Ernest Crawley) provoke aggression, hatred, envy because they challenge uniqueness, superiority, and privilege.
Projection, splitting, reaction formation.
Narcissism of small differences (Freud, 1917).
Intimacy and proximity breed contempt.
In a study titled "War and Relatedness" (https://www.nber.org/papers/w15095) , published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, the authors, Enrico Spolaore, Romain Wacziarg concluded:
"(T)he degree of genealogical relatedness between populations has a positive effect on their conflict propensities because more closely related populations, on average, tend to interact more and develop more disputes over sets of common issues ... (P)opulations that are genetically closer are more prone to go to war with each other, even after controlling for a wide set of measures of geographic distance and other factors that affect conflict, including measures of trade and democracy."
Developmental Othering failure.
Entitled Competitive Victimhood (Bradley) imposes costs on scarce resources by generating rights and entitlements and by creating social obligations and grievances.
Remedying empathy deficit and educating to dispel lies and fallacies.
WATCH From Lovebombing to Conflict (TalkTV Interviews with Trisha Goddard) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7czc7tEL_Q
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The first phase of the shared fantasy with the
narcissist involves merger, fusion, a regression to an infantile symbiotic state.
Video courtesy of @mirna_liz37
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Dual
mothership is a critical phase in the shared fantasy: it is
the covert contract that sets the train in motion inexorably towards the
inevitable devaluation and discard.
I am grateful to @shadowdeangelis for his integrity and honesty in giving
credit where it is due. Other YouTubers shamelessly steal my ideas and pilfer
my work, claiming them as their own.
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Pain is the body’s signaling system. Fever is the body’s way of fighting germs and viruses. Modern medicine suppresses both pain and fever. Not wise.
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We live in a world with one gender (unignder): masculine. TalkTV interview with Trisha Goddard. Full interview is available on my YouTube channel.
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In times of turbulence, the scum rises to the top. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man
is an outcast.
When the stupid masses are given voice and power
via democracy and technology, the outcomes are idiot tycoons, ignorant public
“intellectuals”, retard influencers, and dumb rulers.
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Narcissistic abuse has multiple purposes - but is automatic, unintentional.
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Well-meaning empathic people often make things
worse.
“Get a grip, move on, snap out of it, get over it”
“I and others have had the same experience”
“You have your whole life ahead of you, it is
never too late, time heals all wounds”
“No need to be anxious or depressed”
“You have such a good life, others have it much
worse”
Anxiety, depression, and trauma are subjective
experiences, not objective facts. People react differently to the very same
circumstances. Reasons: genes, temperament, upbringing, childhood and life
experiences.
When someone is going through a difficult period,
you need to validate their emotions and reactions:
“I understand what you are going through. You are
right: it is really bad and your reaction is justified. I hope things get
better somehow”
All other types of responses are wrong.
Invalidating one’s thinking implies: “something is
wrong with you for thinking or acting this way”.
Always-on, Pollyannaish optimism is invalidating.
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As I have been saying for well over a decade, the narcissist’s false self is a primitive savage parental deity that demands and expects human sacrifice, starting with the narcissist’s true self. Narcissism is, therefore, a private missionary religion: the narcissist attempts to convert others into his/her creed and then sacrifice them to the insatiable, voracious shared fantasy around the false self.
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Hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.
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Our
leaders:
Vladimir Liliputin
Ben Yummy-in Netan Yahoo
Joseph Bye Den
Donald Trumpet
Emanuel Maquereaun
Just-in True Dough
She Gene Pink
Recept Erdo Gun
Either Viktor or Ban
No wonder the world looks the way it does.
Sam F**knin
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Narcissistic
abuse is an extraordinarily traumatic experience. Once it is over - why the grief? What and why are you
mourning?
Lecture to clinicians in Zagreb, March 2024. Video
courtesy of @reframingtheself
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All narcissists are capable of being both overt (grandiose) and covert (vulnerable, fragile). One type is dominant and the other emerges in the wake of collapse or mortification.
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The next generation of OK, Shoshanim. Courtesy of Lucia Lorenzo.
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Narcissists and psychopaths feel entitled: they believe that they can have it all, never miss out on anything - and never pay the price.
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Various issues in pathological narcissism discussed during the lecture to clinicians in Zagreb, March 2024.
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Watch the film “Semmelweis”. Narcissists and
psychopaths are over-represented in the medical professions and as the prevalence of cluster B personality disorders is
rising, this is becoming a major threat.
They deem themselves infallible
They confabulate
They never admit to ignorance and are resistant to
learning
They never seek advice or even information
They are hypervigilant, defensive, and aggressive
or passive-aggressive
They are vindictive
Patronizing, condescending attitude to patients,
god complex
Regard every query as narcissistic injury,
challenge to authority (fallacy)
They perceive themselves as godlike and therefore
immune to the consequences of errors and choices
They are defiant, daring, and contumacious (for
example, with regards to treatment protocols)
They are antisocial, even criminal
They are prone to conspiracism, confirmation bias,
and superstitions
Gaslight in a fantasy space which is a cultlike
guild
Solutions: multiple opinions, reliance on
commonsense, experience of others, evidence-based practices (new discoveries
takes 15 years to filter down to praxis), assertiveness, research.
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There are several types of serial killers and murderers.
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To discern the forest, you need to put distance between you and the trees.
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The narcissist’s dreamlike shared fantasy is a theme park, an endless promise, a perfect evasion of reality. Snippet from a lecture to clinicians in Zagreb, Croatia, March 2024. Video courtesy of @reframingtheself
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Which of these shadow complexes do you have?
God complex
Inferiority complex
Guilt complex
Hero, rescuer, fixer, healer, or savior complex
Martyr complex
Persecution complex
Brother-sister complex
Casanova complex
Don Juan complex
Oedipus/Electra complex
Parental complex (mother or father)
Romulus and Remus complexes
WATCH Complexes: Your Shadow’s Double Bind (Internal Rhetoric) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz2H9-Q165c
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Overt grandiose narcissist possess an idealized object: introjected voices that keep informing them how perfect,
all-knowing, all-powerful, infallible, and godlike they are.
Lecture to clinicians in Zagreb, Croatia, March
2024. Video courtesy of @reframingtheself
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How to heal from narcissistic
abuse by @shadowdeangelis
Watch the videos in the Narcissistic Abuse Healing
and Recovery playlist on my YouTube channel.
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Consumerism
and income inequality conspire to enslave us.
The second multiplier event of the project
“Cultural studies in business: Re-orienting Cross Cultural Studies in Business:
a European analysis” organized by Euro College, North Macedonia.
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There is a constant conflict between the various parts of the psyche (for example: shadow-unconscious and conscious). This creates dissonance and anxiety owing to a permanent state of double bind. This is where complexes and archetypes enter the game.
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Living a life that you hate and fear is always way worse than death. An existence of unremitting boredom, shame, and frustration is the same as enduring death while ostensibly alive.
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Do we hate those who resemble us the most - or the least? TalkTV with Trisha Goddard.
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The covert narcissist is a collapsed narcissist. Having failed as a narcissist, s/he becomes a primary psychopath (as a self-state). Malignant narcissism compensates for collapsed covert narcissism.
WATCH Doormat Covert Narcissist Turns Primary Psychopath https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QA3Zuu_O0-M
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Interview with Conor Ryan (Eyes Wide Open) about interpersonal relationships with narcissists, with emphasis on romantic and “intimate” dyads (couples).