Grandiosity, Fantasies, and Narcissism

As one Source of Narcissistic Supply dwindles, the narcissist finds himself
trapped in a frantic (though, at times, unconscious) effort to secure
alternatives. As one Pathological Narcissistic Space (the narcissist's
stomping grounds) is rendered "uninhabitable" (too many people "see through"
the narcissist's manipulation and machinations) – the narcissist wanders off
to find another.

These hysterical endeavours sometimes lead to boom-bust cycles which
involve, in the first stage, the formation of a Grandiosity Bubble.

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The grandiose fantasies of the narcissist inevitably and invariably clash
with his drab, routine, and mundane reality. We call this constant
dissonance the Grandiosity Gap. Sometimes the gap is so yawning that even
the narcissist - however dimly - recognizes its existence. Still, this
insight into his real situation fails to alter his behaviour. The narcissist
knows that his grandiose fantasies are incommensurate with his
accomplishments, knowledge, status, actual wealth (or lack thereof),
physical constitution, or sex appeal - yet, he keeps behaving as though this
were untrue.

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The narcissist cathexes (emotionally invests) with grandiosity everything he
owns or does: his nearest and dearest, his work, his environment. But, as
time passes, this pathologically intense aura fades. The narcissist finds
fault with things and people he had first thought impeccable. He
energetically berates and denigrates that which he equally zealously exulted
and praised only a short while before.

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Being the target of relentless, ubiquitous, and unjust persecution proves to
the paranoid narcissist how important and feared he is. Being hounded by the
mighty and the privileged validates his pivotal role in the scheme of
things. Only vital, weighty, crucial, essential principals are thus bullied
and intimidated, followed and harassed, stalked and intruded upon - goes his
unconscious inner dialog. The narcissist consistently baits authority
figures into punishing him and thus into upholding his delusional self-image
as worthy of their attention. This provocative behaviour is called
Projective Identification.

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It is healthy to daydream and fantasize. It is the antechamber of life and
its circumstances. It is a process of preparing for eventualities,
embellished and decorated. No, I am talking about feeling grandiose.

This feeling has four components.

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Question:

What happens to a narcissist who lacks even the basic potential and skills
to realise some of his grandiose fantasies?

Answer:

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Question:

Is the narcissist confined in his grandiose fantasies to one subject?

Answer:

This apparently simple question is more complex than it sounds. The
narcissist is bound to make use of his more pronounced traits and qualities
in both the design of his False Self and the extraction of Narcissistic
Supply from others. Thus, a cerebral narcissist is likely to emphasise his
intellect, his brainpower, his analytical skills and his rich and varied
fund of knowledge. A somatic narcissist accentuates his body, his physical
strength, his appearance, his sex appeal and so on. But this is only one
facet of the answer. It seems that narcissists engage in what could best be
described as Narcissistic Hedges.

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The disparity between the accomplishments of the narcissist and his
grandiose fantasies and inflated self-image - the Grandiosity Gap - is
staggering and, in the long run, insupportable. It imposes onerous
exigencies on the narcissist's grasp of reality and social skills. It pushes
him either to seclusion or to a frenzy of "acquisitions" - cars, women,
wealth, power.

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cannot confront my life - that dreary, aimless, unpromising stream of days
and nights and days. I am past my prime - a pitiable figure, a has been who
never was, a loser and a failure (and not only by my inflated standards).
These facts are hard enough to face when one is not burdened with a
grandiose False Self and a sadistic inner voice (Superego). I have both.

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I feel entitled to more. I feel it is my right - due to my intellectual
superiority - to lead a thrilling, rewarding, kaleidoscopic life. I feel
entitled to force life itself, or, at least, people around me - to yield to
my wishes and needs, supreme among them the need for stimulating variety.

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Question:

I met many narcissists who are modest – even self-effacing. This seems to
conflict with your observations. How do you reconcile the two?

Answer:

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To avoid the agonizing realization of his failed, defeat-strewn, biography,
the narcissist resorts to reality-substitutes. The dynamics are simple: as
the narcissist grows older, his Sources of Supply become scarcer, and his
Grandiosity Gap yawns wider. Mortified by the prospect of facing his
actuality, the narcissist withdraws ever deeper into a dreamland of
concocted accomplishments, feigned omnipotence and omniscience, and brattish
entitlement.

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The manic phase of Bipolar I Disorder is often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic
Personality Disorder (NPD).

Bipolar patients in the manic phase exhibit many of the signs and symptoms
of pathological narcissism - hyperactivity, self-centeredness, lack of
empathy, and control freakery. During this recurring chapter of the disease,
the patient is euphoric, has grandiose fantasies, spins unrealistic schemes,
and has frequent rage attacks (is irritable) if her or his wishes and plans
are (inevitably) frustrated.

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The narcissist's very self is a piece of fiction concocted to fend off hurt
and to nurture the narcissist's grandiosity. He fails in his "reality
test" - the ability to distinguish the actual from the imagined. The
narcissist fervently believes in his own infallibility, brilliance,
omnipotence, heroism, and perfection. He doesn't dare confront the truth and
admit it even to himself.

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The irony is that narcissists, who consider themselves worldly, discerning,
knowledgeable, shrewd, erudite, and astute - are actually more gullible than
the average person. This is because they are fake. Their self is false,
their life a confabulation, their reality test gone. They live in a fantasy
land all their own in which they are the center of the universe, admired,
feared, held in awe, and respected for their omnipotence and omniscience.

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