Sam Vaknin’s Instagram Epigrams (archive only)

Narcissism with Vaknin on Instagram (active account)

 

 

Watch Covert Narcissist’s Sadistic Envy Fantasy (conference presentation) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beIvpL4Fz4E

WATCH an honest person in the last 6 minutes of this video.

 

My new concepts are now being shamelessly plagiarized and stolen - and not for the first time: “snapshotting” (confusing external and internal or introjected objects), the dual mothership (regression to infancy in intimate relationships), and the shared fantasy space, among others.

 

I found one exception, a breath of fresh air: this guy @shadowdeangelis on Instagram (Cyberviking on TikTok).

 

The covert narcissist steals from you habitually: your ideas, your life’s work, your girlfriends and wives, your job, your money, anything he can.

 

He acts this way for 3 reasons:

 

Self-aggrandisement

 

Oneupmanship

 

Passive-aggression (symbolic hyperreflexive consuming of the frustrating object of narcissistic rivalry and malicious envy)

 

To be able to face himself in the mirror and to allay his justified fear of retribution, the covert narcissist deploys a host of good object infantile primitive defenses:

 

denial (the things I am stealing do not really belong to him and actually what I am doing is for the greater good);

 

repression (I don’t recall the stolen ideas or goods being someone else’s);

 

splitting (he is a bad person and deserves what I am doing to him, so my acts of pure theft are punitive and morally upright); and

 

projection (he stole these things from me or I paid for them, so I am just reclaiming them).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The art of con artists is their con.

They could have easily become what they falsely claim to be. So, why don’t they?

Because they abhor, loathe, and are terrified of intimacy and commitment.

They prefer fantasy where these are not required and they can bail out at any time.

They substitute drama for reality because the former is thrilling and has an expiry date.

They are too easily bored with the world. They need to be bigger than life in order to feel alive at all.

Narcissistic fraudsters are also grandiose. When confronted with the truth about who and what they are, they experience life-threatening shame.

They con and scam in order to ward off depression and suicidal ideation. It is a survival strategy.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Column in Brussels Morning

Private contracting of military functions has been on the rise since the first Gulf War (1991). With the collapse of the USSR, the militaries of the main Western protagonists, the USA and the UK, have been drastically scaled back, a process known as the "peace dividend". At the same time, economists and politicians throughout the world embarked on an ambitious plan involving the privatization of state-owned firms and functions. Inevitably, the two fads coalesced and huge chunks of hitherto state-monopolized warfare were contracted out, outsourced, and even offshored.

Third World countries have always leveraged mercenaries to subdue adversaries at home and abroad. Many armies in Africa and Asia and even in certain parts of Europe (such as the Balkans) were or are being run by third party contractors who sometimes also actively participate in the fighting.

As far as the USA and UK are concerned, until the Iraq war, private contractors were mainly responsible for logistics, training, and security tasks. This narrow definition of their roles is in flux, though. Private soldiers of fortune may yet be hired and rented out even by the governments of the West, though I regard this as extremely unlikely.

Oddly,
PMCs had a limited role in the Global War on Terror (GWOT). Granted, private military companies are involved in the provision of logistical, training, and security support to forces on the ground and they also collaborate with field agents of secret services (such as the CIA). But, asymmetrical warfare is still carried out largely by regular armies, backed by intelligence gathered by state-run agencies.

Continued in the video on my vakninmusings channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Former cult members are typically gullible, mentally unwell, and unintelligent.

Many of them are virulent covert narcissists.

Driven by malicious envy, humiliation, and narcissistic rivalry, they seek to expose and take down cult leaders in order to engender a cult following for themselves.

They maintain a facade of pseudo-humility and the semblance of a moral crusade, casting their relentless self-promotion as a morality play of good vs. evil (splitting).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

As many of you know, my ideas and work are recently being egregiously plagiarized and monetized. The typical plagiarist is a collapsed (often covert) narcissist.

To be able to face himself in the mirror and to allay his justified fear of retribution, the plagiarist deploys a host of “I am a good object” infantile primitive defenses:

denial (the ideas and work I am stealing do not really belong to their current originator and actually what I am doing is for the greater good);

repression (I don’t recall the stolen ideas or work being someone else’s);

splitting (he is a bad person and deserves what I am doing to him, so my acts of pure theft are punitive and morally upright); and

projection (he pilfered these ideas and work from me or I paid for them, so I am just reclaiming them).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Nothingness is freedom, a profound liberation, embracing your authentic essence.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I have been nominated for the 2023 Global Mental Health Award.

Starting in July, summits will be held all over the world (see schedule of the G20 Health Series Summits on the left side of the image). This is the invitation.

I am faced with tough competition, but it is an honor to be one of the finalists.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Academia.edu, the world’s largest academic website, with close to 230,000,000 members, ranked me in the top 0.1% of all academics in the world.

Swipe left: my work is cited in over 1460 academic works (articles, papers, and books). The actual figure is much higher, closer to 5000 (some articles cite Vaknin, S. and so on).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Last 1:30 The Narcissist’s Schizoid Core by @shadowdeangelis on Instagram (Cyberviking on TikTok).

AI (Artificial Intelligence) follows social media as the second wave of the narcissistic takeover of the world.

Grandiosity precludes cognitive miser (fear of making a mistake).

Hyperreflexivity: narcissist ventriloquist with susceptible dummies

Mimesis or real intelligence? Beyond Turing test to a qualitative version with qualified professionals (What makes intelligence human? Sentience?)

General headline intelligence, deep learning, expert systems

How to safely interact with both AI and narcissists

AI Hallucinations vs. narcissist’s fantasies

Omniscience

Can AI help victims of narcissistic abuse cope with narcissists

Legislation: beyond criminal code into social engineering

Sam Vaknin column archive in Brussels Morning:
https://brusselsmorning.com/author/samvaknin

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Grandiosity is a cognitive distortion. It filters, blocks out, falsifies, and reframes reality in order to allow the narcissist’s fantasy to take over and become his only reality.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

If you feel estranged - no longer yourself - you have been infected by the narcissist via the twin mechanisms of entraining and coercive snapshotting (introjection).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Your luck doesn’t make you - YOU make your luck.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist is a reflective shell wrapped around an empty schizoid core.

Video courtesy 
@shadowdeangelis

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Never make yourself the custodian or guarantor of other people’s emotions or happiness.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Europe is faced with a real war, not a cold one. The invasion of Ukraine engendered a domino effect, a vortex which might easily consume countries such as Belarus and Moldova and adversely affect Russia’s neighbors: Romania, Poland, the Baltic states, and Scandinavia’s new NATO members. Even far-flung polities such as Bulgaria and Serbia are bound to be sucked into the maelstrom.

It is time to prepare for a repeat of the 1930s: increase defense spending, reintroduce conscription, and enhance the production of armaments across the board. We must not repeat the mistakes that helped foster Hitler’s myth of invincibility in 1936-1939: no appeasement this time.

Continued in the video on my vakninmusings channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist processes speech in a very unusual manner.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

People misperceive truth tellers as cruel, envious, hateful, and rejecting.

People misperceive deceitful fakes as empathic, kind, nice, and compassionate.

And this is the truth.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Both Freud and Marx maintained the view that all religions are mass psychegenic illnesses: socially sublimated delusional disorders. But many people hold dearer than life various artefacts associated with these beliefs, counterfactual as they may be.

Burning the Qur’an is an act intended to provoke pain and indignation in these faithful. It is nothing short of cruel and sadistic. Taunting the mentally ill should invariably be outlawed. There ought to be limits to free speech and this should be one of them.

Video, based on a column in Brussels Morning, available on my vakninmusings YouTube channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Some people are torn between the need to love someone - and a dread of intimacy, the ineradicable need to be a loner.

Aloneness is a golden cage.

Luxurious prison.

Beloved grave.

Such people are attached to being alone, love it, confuse
solitude with freedom and independence.

But many of them - not all! - do feel lonely and crave a partner in their lives.

So, to square the circle, they always choose mates who are unavailable and thus do not threaten their cherished hermetic existence.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

WATCH Narcissistic Abuse Healing and Recovery Playlist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCKm2lywhZg&list=PLsh_y_ett4o1_RZDY0EJMBzuWfDOHrgoA

 

WATCH 20 Signs that Narcissist Infected YOU (Zombie Narcissism) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WqokA5nXVfU

 

No disparaging introjects traceable back to him (incl. flying monkeys)

 

No ego dystony or hesitancy in decision-making

 

Ability to trust restored

 

No doubting your judgment

 

Independent reality testing restored (no cognitive distortions)

 

Sense of agency and self-efficacy restored

 

Autonomous motivation

 

No catastrophizing (imminent doom)

 

No anticipatory anxiety

 

No addictive cravings or sentimental nostalgia coupled with separation insecurity (abandonment anxiety)

 

No seeking of same type partner (from narcissistic to anaclitic mate selection)

 

No maternal or parental impulses (no narcissistic transferences)

 

No “us”, only “you” (no merger or fusion in a shared fantasy as well as intact boundaries, no enmeshment or engulfment)

 

No attempts to mind read

 

No self-sacrificial, people pleasing impulses (no emotional blackmail)

 

No infantile defenses

 

No self-idealization or self-devaluation, just realistic introspection and self-awareness

 

Restored functioning: social, workplace, as a parent, empathy

 

No emoting by proxy (crying in a movie)

 

No trust aversion or dread of intimacy

 

No victimhood stance – assuming personal responsibility

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissists overshare because they consider themselves amazing.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissists and psychopaths feel positively ill-at-ease or even threatened by love, intimacy, compassion, or kindness.

They assume that the other party is faking it, is mocking or pitying them, is inanely naive, or is trying to manipulate them.

Deep inside they regard themselves as both unloveable and unworthy of love or even mere civility.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Article in Journal of Psychiatry and Neurology about IPAM (my Intrapsychic Activation Model).

More about my work in psychology as well as many additional articles: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html

A correction: I am now a former visiting professor in SFU, Russia.

CIAPS (Commonwealth for International Advanced Professional Studies) is based in Cambridge, UK, Toronto, Canada; and with an outreach campus in Lagos, Nigeria.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Extremely high intelligence is a liability in interpersonal relationships: it precludes meaningful communication and creates corrosive friction.

It is tolerated by an intimate partner only when it bears the promise of being passed on to the couple’s progeny.

In childless relationships, inordinately high IQ is a dyadic death knell.

 

 

Spirituality, spiritual factor, spiritual faith healing

Mental healing, psychic healing

Empirical self, nominative self

Geisteswissenschaftliche Psychologie

Naturwissenschaftliche Psychologie

Verstehende Psychologie

Existentialism, existential psychology

Being-in-the-world and world design

Dasein, authenticity, and essence

Humanistic psychology and human-potential movement

Fulfillment model

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The grandiosity gap between the narcissist’s inflated, fantastic self-perception and his less than stellar reality cause him to delusionally deny this discrepancy and demand that others ignore it, too. This is the pathoetiology of the narcissist’s entitlement.

Video courtesy 
@shadowdeangelis

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Being an a**hole is not a crime - it is an anatomical fact.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissist loves through the death instinct, kills the love object by removing its ontological attributes: internalizing it and then disabling (“freezing”) it. Coercive snapshotting completes the process of entraining.

Read this:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CuWiQLQMpF4/

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Women get attracted to men not because of WHAT they do - but because of WHO they are.

Narcissists emphasize the former.

Nice, kind, empathic, lovable guys - the latter.

 

 

With healthy people, being aggressive requires an effort.

With narcissists and psychopaths,
acting nice or even just well-mannered is an exertion.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissists reify the death instinct. They render everyone in their lives inert, inanimate, and mummified. They convert external objects into immutable internal ones embedded in dark fantasies of unmitigated coercive control.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

This unsavory turn of events has been predicted long ago: compassion fatigue, the point in time when Ukrainian refugees become a burden rather than welcome guests, subject to outpourings of compassion.

The maximal geopolitical and military positions of both Russia and Ukraine preclude any diplomatic resolution of the conflict. Mind you, Ukraine is the victim here, so enforced symmetry would be immoral. Morally, Russia has to give.

But the indolent, decadent, and sated West is fatigued. The novelty wore off as did the self-congratulatory feel good grandiose factor. The whole conundrum has lost its jaded entertainment value. Time to move on to another reality TV show.

The recent events in Czechia reify this Europe-wide self-indulgent mood. A Roma man was murdered by a Ukrainian newcomer. This has been only the latest in a string of bloodied skirmishes between these two minorities.

Continued in the video and in my column in Brussels Morning.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

How the covert narcissist changes you for the worse.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Picsart is an AI-assisted photo editor app. When you ask Picsart to depict someone, they return a processed image of that person, a rendition of him or her. Until now!

@photographyfaust typed “Sam Vaknin” into Picsart and this is what she got!

Visit her Instagram account to learn more about her truly bizarre experience when she tried various inputs to get Picsart to yield a human image of me - to no avail!

It seems that Picsart exposed who I truly am: a nonhuman intelligence from a galaxy far away! No wonder I am so dead set against granting the masses access to AI
😉

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Cluster B personalities are awry, broken, damaged, and dangerous if left untreated.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

All you need to know about healing and recovery via self-love.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist’s abuse is also a way of testing his or her newfound maternal figure (aka “intimate” partner or insignificant other):

How far can I go without losing him (or her)?

Will s/he love and embrace me unconditionally never mind how harsh and unjust and hurtful I am?

Will s/he ultimately abandon and betray me, as I fully expect them to do? (Self-fullfilling prophecy or preemptive abandonment)?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist first converts you into his mommy, a maternal figure. He then tries to transform you into a transitional object. But this is mission impossible: the role of the transitional object is to allow the child to safely separate from mother. Disappointed and frustrated, the narcissist devalues and discards you.

 

NEW PLAYLIST Shared Fantasy, Dual Mothership, Snapshotting

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csukYBQpyHE&list=PLsh_y_ett4o0Few_pweXhdCigXrXubWNx

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

WATCH YOU and YOUR BODY after Domestic Violence, Rape, Battering: Perpetrator and Society Collude https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U-MJtEMCCA

 

Coercive, synchronized, or mirror snapshotting (introjection): narcissist entrains you to introject his expectations (your idealized introject in his mind), to share the internal object (=merger, fusion)

 

Only if departure from previous identity, not including bodily signs of trauma and abuse:

 

Decline in empathy (post traumatic)

 

Irritability

 

Impulsivity

 

Mood lability

 

Emotional dysregulation

 

Suicidal or self-destructive ideation

 

Self-defeating and self-handicapping (e.g., perfectionism or procrastination)

 

Cognitive distortions (e.g., grandiosity or Dunning-Kruger)

 

Aggression or Passive-agression

 

Recklessness

 

Identity disturbance (“this is not me!”)

 

Defiance and contumaciousness

 

Thrill, novelty, and risk seeking

 

Projection

 

Splitting or dichotomous thinking

 

Denial

 

Exploitativeness

 

Repetition compulsions

 

Automatic negative thoughts

 

Dissociation

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

There is only one way to go about it: the EU needs to suspend members which hanker after Moscow and Beijing more than they care to imitate Brussels and Berlin.

The EU is the reification of a philosophy, the reincarnation of an ideology of liberal democracy at its fairest and best. Countries like Hungary and Poland taint and compromise this vision. They have no more claim to the EU than Turkey does. They should go their separate ways. They have no place in the EU.

My column in Brussels Morning available in video format on my vakninmusings channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Trauma bonding is a form of collaborative self-harm and fulfills the same functions as self-mutilation.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Deliberately frustrating is a form of sadism:

You need to be needed? I am self-sufficient!

You want to love me? I am an emotionless and heartless robot!

You wish to spend time with me? I am a workaholic.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Passed 15,000 followers on Linkedin including more than 14,000 mental health practitioners and academics from all over the world: psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, professors, researchers, authors, and neuroscientists.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissistic abuse involves multiple parties, not least of whom is the victim. Here is how to cope with it in various settings and circumstances.

 

Brian Barnes Wellbeing, BSc HDip RGN RPN DipHyp brianbarneswellbeing.com, 0879270045

 

mindyou podcast anchor.fm/mindyou1

 

Apple podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/mindyou-podcast/id1552410164

 

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/17W98ShxKjc0sd3UVRZRrm

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Money means a lot, but beyond a certain quantity, it does not equate to or generate happiness. On the contrary: it diminishes it.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Inverted narcissists and codependents pretend that the narcissist’s relentless abuse has no effect on them. But, of course, it does. No contact is the only path to recovery and healing.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Healthy people are best advised to trust themselves way more than they trust others.

Narcissists are best advised to trust no one, least of all themselves.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Many online YouTubers have corrupted the meanings of words and phrases borrowed from clinical psychology (examples: gaslighting or flashbacks). Additionally, with zero credentials in the field of cluster B personality disorders, they came up with nonsense "diagnoses" like empath or neglectful narcissist.

 

How to recognize gaslighting and respond to it https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/04/15/gaslighting-definition-relationship-abuse-response/

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

It is not about enjoying life. Life is not Disneyland.

Life is hard work and not fun at all.

It is about self-actualization: realizing your full potential.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Depression may be better conceived as a cognitive distortion rather than a mood disorder. It involves catastrophizing and a host of infantile psychological defense mechanisms. But sometimes it is a positive adaptation.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Trauma-induced anxiety is at the core of cluster B personality disorders.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

WATCH Narcissist’s Betrayal Fantasy: Painful Mommy Separation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF7mvEbaNEA

 

WATCH Narcissist Pays Heavy Price for Betrayal Fantasy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq1NA3WGRZ0

 

WATCH Masochistic Covert Antinarcissist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXK2Latm6Is

 

Narcissist's "love" is sado-masochistic because of early childhood conditioning to associate love with betrayal, withdrawal, avoidance, hurt, and frustration-aggression.

 

In childhood, the aggression is internalized. Hence the masochism.

 

The narcissist needs to coerce the partner to hurt him within the fantasy framework role of her maternal reenactment. Hence the abuse (projective identification and reaction formation).

 

The narcissist's sadism is self-punitive and anticipatory: it engenders the very masochistic pleasure of being punished and agonized. This is sadistic supply.

 

The partner's compliant submissiveness or refusal to engage in her assigned role is perceived as a passive-aggressive denial of gratification and leads to the escalation of abusive sadism.

 

Submissiveness also leads to escalation owing to growing tolerance and desensitization.

 

A reactively abusive (or plain abusive or predatory) partner is perceived as maternally loving and caring. This ameliorates the narcissist's abuse but creates abandonment anxiety and infantile (regressive) dependency on masochistic supply. 

 

So, the narcissist is in one of two states in the shared fantasy: sado-masochistically gratified by a punitive mother figure - or sado-masochistically frustrated by a truly loving mature partner.

 

The former leads to attachment, cathexis, and dependency and then to attempted separation-individuation from the maternal figure via devaluation and discard.

 

The latter leads to sadistic and coercive narcissistic abuse and a power play. The narcissist must have his way or annihilate the frustrating object.

 

MOOD DISORDERS

 

Mood disorders exist when the changes in mood are not secondary, not mediated via a cognitive distortion, such as grandiosity or catastrophizing.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissists don’t do intimacy and regard empathy as a weakness. The narcissist’s insignificant other is not intimate, neither is s/he a partner. S/he is fungible, replaceable, interchangeable, dispensable, and disposable.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

(Rant starts 05:56) Sado-masochism applies to non-romantic relationships as well: same dynamic of using sadism to provoke reactive abuse for masochistic supply.

 

The narcissist is the cause of the reactive abuse, he makes it happen. So, it enhances his sense of omnipotence (grandiosity) - the opposite of narcissistic injury.

 

Source of cognitive distortions such as grandiosity or catastrophizing (both predispose to depression) could be: compensatory to early childhood abuse and trauma; brain abnormalities; societal anomie; technology; peer pressure and conformity; fatalistic, defeatist, or deterministic culture; or expectations (esp. of significant others).

 

RANT

 

If you give flowers to a woman on a first date you may end up in prison as a sexist lovebomber.

 

But if you recommend suicide to a patient, you get paid for a therapy session.

 

If you befriend people IRL, you are a mentally ill codependent people pleaser.

 

But if you befriend them online, you are cool and hip.

 

If you read books, you are an incel nerd.

 

But if you play video games, you fit in and fun to be with.

 

If you speak the truth, you can be sued.

 

If you flatter and cajole and fake and bullshit, you are a global guru.

 

Sex is meaningless and casual, promiscuity is an accomplishment, virginity a repellent liability, adultery is universal and fun;

 

Divorce and reciprocal abuse are the norms in all manner of so called "relationships", intimacy is threatening, courting is harassment;

 

Expertise is suspect, mocked, and rejected;

 

Charitable acts are vile conspiracies, technology is slavery, erudition is derided, truthism and malignant grandiose egalitarianism abound;

 

Entitlement pervades; career criminals are martyrs, law enforcement monsters, con artists and actors rule and rock;

 

Social interactions and sexuality are vanishing, loneliness is in vogue;

 

The occult, the paranoid, and the irrational are considered superior to science and rationality, books and learning are niche pursuits;

 

Birthrates tumbled under the replacement rate, marriage and parenthood are widely shunned and frowned upon;

 

Only the virtual is real, censorship is praised, rabid and escalated self-promotion touted;

 

Plutodemocracies and authoritarian psychopaths govern, poverty, hardship, and sickness the norm worldwide.

 

And this was before Nature declared war on us.

 

I count my blessings: I don't have much longer to live. This is one planet I would be delighted to check out of. It is not mine and I have no idea how I ended up here. I want to go home.

 

I hate this brave, new world where:

 

Illiteracy is 140 characters long and has a face-book;

 

Everyone has a thousand virtual "friends", but virtually no real friend;

 

Every child has a mother and multiple fathers, but no parents;

 

Knowledge is a matter of opinion and opinions a matter of fads;

 

Our idols sport muscles and vocal cords, but little else besides;

 

The right to vote is universal, but the will to vote is not;

 

Everyone has a right to free speech, but little of value to say;

 

Extramarital sex is considered recreation and monogamy a throwback;

 

The only ideology is self-gratification and collectives are mere dim memories;

 

The only certainty is uncertainty and the only permanent fixture is change (for change's sake);

 

Obsolescence is the driver of innovation, but science, art, and literature are obsolete;

 

As men and women lose their traditional roles, confusion and inter-gender enmity reign. In a unisex world, homosexuality, or sexual abstinence are rational choices. As malignant, narcissistic individualism is on the rise, the species is dying out. In many countries - including major ones such as Japan, Russia, and Germany - the population is declining precipitously.

 

More than one third of the youth of these places opt for celibacy and singlehood. Sperm counts have plummeted by a whopping 70%.

 

We are in the throes of vanishing.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist coerces his intimate partner- his newfound maternal figure - to reactively abuse him because his “dead” mother taught him to associate love with hurt.

The partner’s reactive abuse does not cause narcissistic injury because the narcissist triggers it at will, he is in control of the entire process. Her reactivity buttresses his grandiosity.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

WATCH Fight Coercive Control, Collusive Infidelity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZYCqmkkrsY

 

WATCH Narcissism/ Coercive Control Documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA56MBj4m5Y

 

COVERT ABUSE

 

Passive-aggressive (obstructive)

 

Hidden (occult): fakes empathy, rescuer-savior-healer, helpfulness, altruism, compassion

 

Manipulative

 

Nonverbal

 

Punitive avoidance and withdrawal (to play on abandonment anxiety)

 

Creates secret coalitions against you, smear campaigns (hiding behind others)

 

Controlling

 

COERCIVE CONTROL

 

Another much misused term, like gaslighting or narcissist

 

Victims intimidated into altering routines, modifying behaviors

 

Social isolation

 

Life constriction

 

Invasive monitoring and supervision

 

Deprivation of needs, including basic needs

 

Control and micromanagement of choices, decisions, behaviors, and actions

 

Denial of access to communication, money, friends, family, help, succor

 

Terrorizing, degradation, humiliation

 

Multiple modalities of abuse: verbal, physical, financial, sexual

 

Conditioning (compliance rewarded) leads to automatism and impaired reality testing

 

Premeditated

 

Not outcome of mental illness

 

Some victims misperceive coercive control as love, interest, attention, insecurity.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

In 1995, I was the first person to out himself as a narcissist. To be able to communicate my experiences, I had to coin a whole new corpus of language, still widely in use today.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The ultimate expression of love is to give your loved ones the freedom to seek happiness in any way and with whoever they see fit.

Possessiveness and jealousy are the antonyms of love.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissistic abuse is unlike any other type of abuse. It negates you. So, in its aftermath, you need not only to recover but to rebuild yourself, brick by brick.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The mentally ill are a fraternity of brothers and sisters all around the globe.

No one can truly understand the desperate doomed attempt to make sense of the world, of others, of ourselves - to no avail.

Cancer of the soul for life, our constant companion

Learn to forgive yourself - you are doing the best you can but you are disabled

Forgive them for they know not what they are doing and they are afraid of you and infuriated at your shortcomings which deny them their dreams.

Aspire to do better, to succeed, to surmount your handicap - but welcome defeat and embrace failure as the fixtures of your life

Grieve not for who and what you could have been and rejoice that you are despite all odds

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

An evil person at the service of a good cause does not render that person good or the cause evil.

A good person at the service of an evil cause does render that person evil .

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The craven covert narcissist creates coalitions of flying monkeys and kamikaze suicide bombers - including women and children - as human shields.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Collapsed and covert narcissists maliciously envy successful narcissists way more than they are jealous of accomplished non-narcissists.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist entertains simultaneously contradictory thoughts, beliefs, values, emotions, motivations, and other psychological processes ("dissonant thinking"). He therapeutically resolves the resulting dissonances by using several techniques and by self-imputing godlike perfection.

Use the playlists to search the channel by theme and vaknin-talks.com to search the transcripts of my videos.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bernd Huber captured my work on the psychodynamics of narcissism in a single diagram.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Real (echt) narcissistic supply is like high-octane fuel to the narcissistic vehicle. Spurious supply is contaminated fuel that damages the engine.

Negative supply should be distinguished from low-grade or fake supply (collectively known as spurious or ersatz narcissistic supply).

Low-grade narcissistic supply comes from sources which cannot be idealized, no matter how hard the narcissist tries and to what extent he blocks out and denies reality. The type of narcissistic supply determines whether its source can be idealized or not. For instance: compliments on his intellectual achievements doled out to a cerebral narcissist by an intellectually-challenged person would never pass muster and would never qualify as narcissistic supply.

Fake narcissistic supply is tinged with ulterior motives and hidden agendas. Sources of fake supply compliment the narcissist in order to manipulate him or some third person or in order to accomplish a goal. Endowed with cold empathy, the narcissist picks up on these true motivations and feels injured and slighted. Many narcissists test their sources of supply repeatedly: they engineer situations intended to expose the sincerity or lack thereof of the supply and the consistency and authenticity of the source’s conduct.

Narcissistic supply is either static or dynamic. Dynamic supply upholds, enhances, buttresses, and abets the narcissist’s grandiose and fantastic False Self. The contents of dynamic narcissistic supply and the identity of its sources conform to the narcissist’s image of himself, his “destiny”, the evolution of his life, and his place in the Cosmos. Static supply fails to do so despite the fact that it is largely positive, reliably recurrent, and abundant. Static supply is akin to “hospital rations” or “junk food”: it maintains the narcissist for a while, but, as an exclusive diet, it results in malnutrition (deficient narcissistic supply). Static supply is repetitive, “boring” because it is predictable, and pedestrian. It does not propel the narcissist into new “highs”, nor does it reinflate him when he is down.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

A completely new way of perceiving victimhood and the victim's role in the abusive dyad.

With Macy Nelson, The Phoenix Rising Podcast (thephoenixrisingpodcast.com) on multiple platforms, starting August 1.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The best advice about revenge, justice, and retribution against the narcissist@shadowdeangelis has an incisive and unerring grasp of the most intricate dynamics of narcissism and narcissistic abuse.

But, his advantages over me are his brevity and accessible language. Unlike me, he is not pompous or verbose. Don’t miss his amazing capsules of practical wisdom backed by cutting-edge latest research. Bravo!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Anniversary of my first year as Visiting Professor of Psychology in Southern Federal University (SFU), Rostov-on-Don, Russian Federation. I taught there between 2017-2022.

In the description of the video I uploaded today to my YouTube channel, you can find a link to download a file with a few of my classes in SFU (Warning: big file, 40 Gb).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Simplicity trumps complexity every time. What cannot be captured fully in few words is not worth saying.

The simple pleasures in life are the most rewarding.

The most basic messages motivate us maximally.

The most atavistic relationships are the most durable.

The most primordial fears are also the most potent.

Primeval structures outlive complex ones and overtake them.

Complexity is an illusion, the outcome of our human limitations and pathologies.

In truth, nature, life, the cosmos and everything in it are all profoundly and aesthetically simple.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Two dozen studies prove that social justice and political movements have been hijacked by profit-maximizing narcissists, psychopaths, vindictive members, and grandiose ADHD patients.

 

LITERATURE

 

WATCH Narcissists, Eternal Victims, Trauma, Psychosis: Splitting the Inner Dialog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmhOPnWN4-0

 

WATCH Victimhood Movements Hijacked by Narcissists and Psychopaths https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBpxFxMAztA

 

Ok, E., Qian, Y., Strejcek, B., & Aquino, K. (2020, July 2). Signaling Virtuous Victimhood as Indicators of Dark Triad Personalities. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000329

 

Waismel-Manor I, Kaplan YR, Shenhav SR, Zlotnik Y, Dvir Gvirsman S, Ifergane G (2023) ADHD and political participation: An observational study. PLoS ONE 18(2): e0280445. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280445

 

Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 165, 15 October 2020, 110134

The tendency for interpersonal victimhood: The personality construct and its consequences

Rahav Gabay, Boaz Hameiri, Tammy Rubel-Lifschitz, Arie Nadler

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.110134

 

Gollwitzer, Mario. (2021). Matters arising from Gabay, R., Hameiri, B., Rubel-Lifschitz, R., & Nadler, A. (2020). The tendency for interpersonal victimhood: The personality construct and its consequences. Personality and Individual Differences, 165, 110134. Personality and Individual Differences. 168. 110294. 10.1016/j.paid.2020.110294.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Another excellent video by @shadowdeangelis

A useful concept in this context is the narcissist’s conversion of
idealized objects into persecutory objects.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Victimhood makes sense of reality in a way that is self-serving by reducing it to a morality play of angels vs. demons.

Victimhood is a splitting defense (narcissists and borderlines use it to cast themselves as victims).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Are narcissists also codependent? Are codependents always narcissistic? Translated to Portuguese by @mirna_liz37 Thank you!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The self-help industry is toxic, riddled with con artists and with mentally ill gurus, "healers", coaches, self-styled "experts", and self-appointed rescuers and saviors.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The meeting between the narcissist and his victim is a meeting of two hungers: the victim is hungry for love and intimacy and acceptance – and the narcissist is hungry for existence.

The narcissist tries to become through the victim. The Narcissist tries to exist through the victim.

But the sad irony is that the only way for the narcissist to exist through the victim is to abscond with her existence.

The only way for the narcissist to become through the victim is to deny the victim her own becoming.

On the other end of the equation, the only way for the victim to obtain love from the narcissist is to stop being, to not be.

The only way for her to maintain intimacy with the narcissist is to become as much as an absence as he is.

This is the predicament and the conundrum of the shared fantasy: it is a meeting of two irreconcilable, incompatible, hungers.

Excerpt from interview with 
@azamaliofficial
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Here is some breaking news: Russia and Ukraine compete in the same export markets for grain and fertilizer. Russia has zero incentive to help Ukraine with its outflows of both. Russia has all the reasons in the world to obstruct Ukraine’s exports, especially since both polities are at war.

Continued in the video on my vakninmusings YouTube channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

12 reasons to divorce

 

Entitlement and instant gratification
Unrealistic expectations
Intimacy cloud
Wealth transfer (transactionalism in late onset marriages)

Communication issues
No love
No intimacy
No partnership
Premature commitment
Addictions
Domestic violence
Infidelity
No succor
Exhaustion
Financial problems
Loss of sense of self

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

One day

Soon

I will stop.

My heart will stop.

My brain will stop

This whirring contraption of ideas

Will stop.

My lungs, too.

My eyes will glaze over

With the horrified realization that it is all true.

One dies.

A furnaced breeze will ruffle

Through yellowed papers

And sepia memories

In the minds of others.

Until they, too,

Will stop.

Poetry of Healing and Abuse
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/contents.html

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Both narcissists and psychopaths are users and takers.

When you are of any use to them, they are charming, into you, solicitous, and helpful.

When you have nothing left to offer, they become cold, contemptuous, dismissive, and impatient.

Both types use a shared fantasy to mind control. But the narcissist is delusional (believes that the fantasy is real) while the psychopath is merely scheming and manipulative.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Reductionism and a replication crisis are dooming psychology to remain a literary pursuit rather than a science.

With Azam Ali 
@azamaliofficial

This excerpt is available on my vakninmusings channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

To survive narcissistic abuse, victims deceive themselves in multiple ways.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

My videos translated to Portuguese: Narcissismo Com Mirna https://youtube.com/@NarcisismocomMirna

 

WATCH Narcissist’s 3 Depressions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjZkrLE9mes&feature=youtu.be

 

WATCH Bipolar Disorder Misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-i7Y7atsqk&feature=youtu.be

 

Narcissism is fantasy defense gone awry and writ large.

 

Mediated via cognitive distortions such as grandiosity, internalization, and hyperreflexivity lead to impaired reality testing (examples)

 

Fantasy can be euphoric or dysphoric

 

Euphoric fantasy indistinguishable from manic phase in Bipolar Disorder and involves grandiosity via inflation and incorporation.

 

Involves internal locus of control and autoplastic defenses.

 

Separation-individuation is a case of euphoric fantasy.

 

Dysphoric fantasy indistinguishable from depression and involves grandiosity via paranoia and referential ideation.

 

Involves external locus of control and alloplastic defenses.

 

Devaluation of a persecutory object, narcissistic injury, and narcissistic mortification are all cases of dysphoric fantasy.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Translations of my videos to Portuguese and to Russian. Swipe left to see the channels.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist needs his partner to abuse him in order to justify her devaluation as a persecutory object. This inexorable devaluation leads to the successful attainment of separation-individuation from her as a maternal figure. The same dynamic applies to female narcissists as well.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Pathological narcissism is a severe mental illness that combines elements from many other psychological disorders and diseases.

 

Norman Bates’s mother is the narcissist’s ideal partner.

With @gurvinmari and @dianakein

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Mother of origin is source of frustration, hurt, shame, and rage, often unconsciously. She mortifies the narcissist.

Mother is illegitimate target of aggression, so he redirect it at mother substitutes. Tries to accomplish separation by proxy and thus become (individuate).

Individuation is not about becoming an adult, but about becoming an individual with boundaries, self, and ego (one of whose functions is reality testing).

Reframes primary object by splitting: she is either all good (martyr) or all bad (evil). Correspondingly, he is either all bad (grandiose monster) or all good (grandiose victim).

Margret Mahler's theory of separation-individuation explored in depth.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

From victim to survivor: obligatory steps.

Translation to Portuguese courtesy of 
@mirna_liz37

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist enters a shared fantasy with a maternal figure (his intimate partner) only in order to separate from her (which he failed to accomplish with his biological mother). The intimate partner is expected to help the narcissist by acting the part of a rejecting, betraying mother. If she refuses, he tries to coerce her into this role and then devalues and discards her.

With Azam Ali
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azam_Ali  @azamaliofficial

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The irrational belief in a god or other supernatural beings is a feebleminded, grandiose, or demented copout, an infantile defense against existential angst and the terror of being alive in an indifferent, meaningless, inexorable universe.

 

For every cathedral and work of art inspired by religion, there are millions of people who died and are still being massacred in its name.

Religions are mass delusional disorders and psychegenic illnesses. They should be medicated, not followed or worshipped.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist judges your aptitude to serve as his “intimate” “partner” by whether you meet 2 of 4 criteria, the 4 Ss: sex, services, supply (narcissistic and sadistic), and safety.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Member of the Editorial Board of Journal of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences.

I am Editor in Chief of 6 academic journals and member of the editorial board of another 90 or so.

Details here:
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissist in the making converts his mommy into his intimate partner! Shared fantasy: mission accomplished! Watch the video I will be uploading later today.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

More than 1750 academic papers cite my work and I am ranked among the top 0.5% of 230,000,000 academics in the world (swipe left).

https://calmu.academia.edu/SamVaknin

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Run for your life! Now! Drop everything you are doing and flee the narcissist or psychopath.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

How the stupid took over the world.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

On the phone, hushed voices, in our bedroom, late afternoon, Noa declines an offer to meet with her lover. I stand in the corridor, book in hand, listening intently, refusing to believe.

Her side of the conversation consists of a half-hearted demurral balanced by a lot of hopeful incredulity. How do you know the key will be under the rug - she questions her interlocutor - and how can you be sure they won't be at home?

This is how this phone conversation proceeds and Noa can see a penumbral Sam projected by the hallway lighting and then she can see me entering the room and looking at her, dumbfounded. She casts a glance my way and ignores me, continues the exchange as though nothing entered her field of vision.

Continued here:
https://samvak.tripod.com/harmony-en.html


Short Fiction About Narcissists and Psychopaths YouTube playlist.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

All told, China’s growth rate was a measly and unprecedented 0.8% in the second quarter of 2023. Youth unemployment is at 20%. The property sector is teetering on the verge of a meltdown with housing projects uncompleted and mortgage strikes.

The Chinese leadership is convulsing: rapidfire interest rate cuts by the central bank follow on the heels of delirious stimulus plans released frantically by China’s State Council. Growth is projected to be an increasingly unlikely 5% this year, a disenchanting figure even so.

There is very little room for stimulus spending or tax cuts in the wake of the massive public outlays during the pandemic.

Over the past 15 years, mounting sovereign debts crises in Europe and an anemic rebound in America's economy were more than offset by the emergence of Asia – and, in particular China and India - as a global powerhouse.

Yet, the warning signs were there: China's economic "miracle" has long been based on an artificial rate of exchange for its currency, the Yuan (RMB); on unsustainable dollops of government largesse and monetary quantitative easing which led to the emergence of asset bubbles (mainly in real-estate) and to pernicious inflation; and, frankly, on heavily-redacted statistics.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist takes over your life and thus reduces the anxiety involved in making choices and decisions.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Even self-aware narcissists cannot change: they cannot experience transformative insight because they lack access to their positive emotions. Self-awareness unaccompanied by emotions never becomes a transformative insight. This is why narcissists never learn or change.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

A Sam Vaknin narcissism buffet by @mirna_liz37

Translations of my videos to Portuguese in the Narcisismo Com Mirna Liz YouTube channel. Also on TikTok.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist’s only experiences are his cravings for narcissistic supply.

Consequently, he never learns or changes.

If you were to meet the same narcissist 40 years apart, you would be stunned at how utterly untouched by life he is, how frozen he is in time.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissist's Body Postures: Hypervigilant-paranoid, Pleading-expectant, Dismissive-contemptuous, Superior-boastful, Impatient-scornful, Impatient-entitled, Membership-gravitas, Converting-empathic, Observer-detached

 

Somatoform disorders (Somatization, conversion disorder, illness anxiety disorder or hypochondria)

 

Body dysmorphia (shame and anxiety) and body image problems.

 

LITERATURE

 

WATCH Narcissist, His Body, Other Bodies (35th Psychosomatic Medicine Conference 2018 Video Presentation) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBzotc3nonU

 

WATCH Narcissist and His Body in Health, Illness, and Disability https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L23a2EQHzLI

 

WATCH Body Language of the Personality Disordered https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omxNWsy3FMI

 

WATCH Body Language of Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abuser https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFUuaw8Pf1M

 

Body Language in David Foster Wallace's Brief Interviews with Hideous Men

Nieminen, Jani (2020) https://trepo.tuni.fi/handle/10024/120237

 

Cambridge Guide to Psychodynamic Psychotherapy By Adam Polnay, Rhiannon Pugh, Victoria Barker, David Bell, Allan Beveridge, Adam Burley, Allyson Lumsden, C. Susan Mizen, Lauren Wilson

Chapter 14: Narcissistic Difficulties

 

81 FBI L. Enforcement Bull. 28 (2012)

The Language of Psychopaths: New Findings and Implications for Law Enforcement

https://heinonline.org/HOL/LandingPage?handle=hein.journals/fbileb81&div=73&id=&page=

 

How To Analyze People With Dark Psychology by Jason Gale

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Censorship in authoritarian regimes, most of which are indeed in the east or global south, is overt and institutionalized. The red lines are promulgated publicly and punishments for transgressions are enshrined in criminal law.

In the West, censorship is far more pernicious: it is stealthy, self-imposed, and adheres to standards of political correctness that reflect the interests and concerns of the identity politics of vocal victimhood groups.

Worst of all: the very existence of censorship is denied in the West as public intellectuals, the mainstream media, and societal and legal institutions uphold the counterfactual myth of “free speech”.

Continued in the video on my vakninmusings channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The entire relationship with the narcissist is coercive.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Having been victimized is not an identity. Victimhood is.

Meme courtesy 
@thereandbackcandle

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) fail to develop empathy via mentalization (a Theory of Mind). They feel no guilt or embarrassment (they have no conscience). They avoid being shamed after they have transgressed.

 

"Empaths" signal victimhood to manipulate others. Many are narcissists and psychopaths.

 

LITERATURE

 

van Trigt, S., Colonnesi, C., Brummelman, E., Jorgensen, T. D., & Nikolić, M. (2023). Autistic traits and self-conscious emotions in early childhood. Child Development, 94, e181–e196. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13921

 

Kajdzik, M., & Moroń, M. (2023). Signaling High Sensitivity to Influence Others: Initial Evidence for the Roles of Reinforcement Sensitivity, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, and the Dark Triad. Psychological Reports, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/00332941231152387

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Dual Mothership short video subtitled in Portuguese.

Courtesy the NarcisismocomMirna YouTube channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Relationships with narcissists and psychopaths may feel the same to the victim - but their outcomes are very different.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

BPD and NPD are real but reconceived as emotionally dysregulated post-traumatic conditions. CPTSD is transient, BPD is not, though it ameliorates and often spontaneously vanishes after age 45.

 

Not all psychopaths are the same. F1 and F2 are very different. F2 has emotions and is dysregulated, similar to borderlines.

 

Self-awareness is not the same as transformative insight.

 

Dark triad personalities are subclinical.

 

Chaotic life does not mean BPD. Emotional dysregulation and mood lability are crucial differential diagnoses. Many narcissists and especially psychopaths lead highly disorganized lives.

 

Grandiosity does not mean NPD. Psychopaths, borderlines, paranoids, and bipolar patients are grandiose.

 

Sadism manifests in all areas of life, not only in sex.

 

Cruelty, callousness, ruthlessness, and mercilessness do not signify psychopathy only. Depending on the circumstances, BPDs behave this way when they act out, narcissists when they are mortified, paranoids when they are in panic (heightened anxiety).

 

Lack of introspection and self-awareness does not mean NPD. Many narcissists are aware of their abrasiveness, grandiosity, entitlement, and antisocial misconduct. They correctly self-identify as narcissists. They are also aware of the fact that they dissociate (though they are never cognizant of their confabulations and their fantasies, including the shared fantasies).

 

External regulation is not unique to borderlines. Narcissists also regulate externally (via narcissistic supply) and, to some extent, so do paranoids.

 

My work cited in more than 1750 academic papers uploaded to academia.edu and I am ranked among the top 0.5% of 231,000,000 academics world wide https://calmu.academia.edu/SamVaknin  https://www.instagram.com/p/CvrrwoLMrdp/?img_index=1

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist punishes himself (or herself) by repeatedly failing to separate and individuate, never mind how many times he tries and with how many partners.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

When you are touched by Evil, you must shed yourself. Keep moving. Motion cleanses.

If you freeze in horror, even for one minute, Evil claims you, makes you his, weds you, and sires offspring with your husk.

Recoil. Flee. Never look back. Renounce your olden essence and be transformed. Render yourself unrecognizable to Evil in pursuit.

Evil enchants. Entraps. It exudes immersion. In its grip, you feel beloved and understood and accepted like never before. It is a great teacher, a sage, a master.

Put on your winged sandals. You are the captive of a vile apparition. There is no time to waste, you must make haste. Already Evil conspires against you with the voices in your mind.

And all the fava beans and the chianti, the charm and erudition, the feigned benignness and the glittering Bambi eyes cannot conceal the horror that awaits. Remember that as you elope into the spell. Untangle from your dreams.
Awaken.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

With same-sex marriage becoming a legal reality throughout the world, many more children are going to be raised by homosexual (gay and lesbian) parents, or even by transgendered or transsexual ones. How is this going to affect the child’s masculinity or femininity?

Is being a gay man less manly than being a heterosexual one? Is a woman who is the outcome of a sex change operation less feminine than her natural-born sisters? In which sense is a “virile” lesbian less of a man than an effeminate heterosexual or homosexual man? And how should we classify and treat bisexuals and asexuals?

What about modern she-breadwinners? All those feminist women in traditional male positions who are as sexually aggressive as men and prone to the same varieties of misconduct (e.g., cheating on their spouses)? Are they less womanly? And are their stay-at-home-dad partners not men enough? How are sex preferences related to gender differentiation? And if one’s sex and genitalia can be chosen and altered at will – why not one’s gender, regardless of one’s natural equipment? Can we decouple gender roles from sexual functions and endowments?

Aren’t the feminist-liberal-emancipated woman and her responsive, transformed male partner as moulded by specific social norms and narratives as their more traditional and conservative counterparts? And when men adapted to the demands of the “new”, post-modernist woman – were they not then rebuffed by that very same female as emasculated and unmanly? What is the source of this gender chaos? Why do people act “modern” while, at heart, they still hark back to erstwhile mores and ethos?

We assume erroneously that some roles are instinctual because, in nature, other species do it, too: parenting and mating come to mind. The discipline of sociobiology encourages us to counterfactually learn from animals about our social functioning.

In nature, there is "male" and "female", not "man" and "woman" which are learned and acquired gender roles. There is no "mother" and "father", even among apes - just progenitors.

Continued:
https://samvak.tripod.com/sexgender.html

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist is always the performer - never the audience.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Why are victims attracted to narcissists time and again?

Diana 
@dianakein and Mari @gurvinmari are the hosts of Sannheten om Narcissisten (in Norway).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Being discarded: injury or mortification?

Perceived as rejecting, frustrating (real) mother: retraumatization, decompensation, acting out, dissociation

Separation insecurity: restoring object constancy owing to introject dissonance (stalking and hoovering)

Reframing: internal (grandiose) or external (persecutory)

Grief stages: mourning the shared fantasy

Substitution (replace): isomorphic or dissimilar

Completion of disrupted shared fantasy (repetition compulsion)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Some covert narcissists are people pleasers (a codependent trait).

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist makes you fall in love with your idealised image (“hall of mirrors effect”). This infatuation with yourself as seen through his gaze, this limerence, is addictive and irresistible.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I am considering to use this video as a part of a new trailer for my YouTube channel. What do you think?

Video courtesy the NarcisismocomMirna YouTube channel.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Mother tells me not to say anything at school about what is happening at home. Nothing is happening at home. Come morning, I wake up from my restless sleep and either I wetted my bed or I didn't. If I did, mother silently packs off my soaked pajamas and the damp sheets, casting a harsh glance at the black stain that seeps into the bed's upholstery. The house already reeks and she opens the shutters and lays the linen on the window panes, half out and the dry half in.

Continued here:
https://samvak.tripod.com/wronghome-en.html


Short Fiction About Narcissists and Psychopaths playlist on my YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtLdPsCsQPc&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3haxsa62BXUwz8mB6eXWur

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The narcissist is testing you: will you love and accept him unconditionally, as a mother would, even when you have come to know him better?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Narcissists attend therapy after collapse or mortification when the grandiose defenses against their vulnerability crumble.

One example of this hybridity (grandiose/vulnerable) is Hoovering.

Narcissist cannot countenance rejection, needs to make sure of the outcomes and resolve cognitive dissonance.

Lovebombing and grooming are forms of probing.

Narcissistic abuse as
probing (will she loved me unconditionally, as a mother would?)

Probing via third parties, flying monkeys, in various settings.

Social media stalking as probing.

Consulting others as probing.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Does a good mother love her child unconditionally? Yes and no. She never conditions her love on her child’s performance and on the gratification of her needs. But she does impose discipline, set boundaries, and pushes her child to separate from her.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Divorce is a life crisis – and more so for the narcissist. The narcissist stands to lose not only his spouse but an important source of narcissistic supply. This results in narcissistic injury, rage, and all-pervasive feelings of injustice, helplessness and paranoia.

Book available on Amazon.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The words "supernatural", "paranormal", and "parapsychology" are prime examples of oxymorons. Nature, by its extended definition, is all-inclusive and all-pervasive. Nothing is outside its orbit and everything that is logically and physically possible is within its purview.

If something exists and occurs then, ipso facto, it is normal (or abnormal, but never para or "beyond" the normal). Psychology is the science of human cognition, emotion, and behavior. No human phenomenon evades its remit.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

We are physical objects, after all. What can physics teach us about human relationships?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Dark triad personalities are people who CANNOT be diagnosed as narcissists and psychopaths.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Is "disassociation" a word in psychology? https://dictionary.apa.org/disassociation

Use this simple test to determine conclusively whether the psychology expert or coach you are listening to know their stuff or is con artist charlatan.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Listen up self-styled “experts”: narcissistic mortification and narcissistic injury are NOT the same thing, collapsed narcissist and failed Narcissist are NOT the same issue. Get it?

 

 

Back to Page 27

 

Proceed to Page 29